Mood Today…

Is Gloomy!!
We got back from a weekend road trip to LA last night.It was a fun trip and calls for another post..But right now,I feel so low and gloomy.Aadya has been fussy all day long,refusing to nurse and refusing to sleep on the bed or in her crib..And there is this crying every hour…
Throughout the trip, I would nurse her when she was awake and change her diaper,let her stretch and then put her in the car seat.DH feels that’s may be she thinks that i will strap her into the car seat again and so doesn’t want to nurse.May be it is true.
I thought she must be tired and tried to make her sleep and she was sleepy.. but refused to be put down. Now,its the end of the day and I am at my wits ends.I have never felt this way in the last 3 and a half month.
I was trying to wean her off the Paci(her Pacifier) butI postponed it to later,may be when she is not as stressed out as now.
The nursing has been better since around 8 pm..and now DH is putting her back to sleep.I just needed a breather..Suddenly,I am feeling sad for being alone here,away from family during my pregnancy and during the initial post-partum days.Is this post-partum depression? I just chatted with this friend who was pregnant around the same time as me and she spent most of her pregnancy and postpartum days with her parents..Her Baby is 5 months old now..and she is just going back to be with her hubby now..Could that have added to my depression?My dad was planning to visit us from August 1st and somehow that doesn’t seem to be materialising just yet..May be I am sad because of that.
I know,I would have never stayed away from DH for that long.I know he wanted to be involved every step of the way with my pregnancy and baby.But suddenly,it seems like he is always so busy,during my pregnancy he was trying to finish off his work to enjoy the baby’s arrival.And I know he is still trying his best to be as involved as possible..And upon the baby’s arrival,by a crazy twist of fate,his work increased ten-folds.Then he fell sick.He is taking it easy now..at least easier than he used to..but…Its not that he doesnt try..he does.But I dont know..I mean he is the one running around to grab a clean diaper or the baby oil or the towel,while I just hold the baby or bathe her or talk to her.He even takes her out for a walk..so that i can cook in peace!

And lastly(but in no way,least)the lack of friends around makes it harder.I have always been a very friendly,people’s person.And suddenly I find myself without anyone to talk to..Anyone other than DH..Sure I am still in touch with my some close friends over email and phone,I talk to my dad almost everyday and chat with sis every other day,but I so need a girlfriend HERE.The only thing that makes me feel like ME now is -Blogging..And all you blogging friends are more real to me than anyone else right now..Thanks for being there..And thanks for listening.I feel a little better after ranting!

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Posted on July 17, 2007, in general. Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.

  1. Ohh I think I can understand what you are going through. I’ve always been such a social person myself and still am and I would be quite depressed and irritated if I were in yoru shoes. Taking care of hte child 24hrs a day is quite task in itself and leaves you literally no time to do other things. I wish I could come and hug you right now. And I will pray your Dad’s able to make it for this August trip! Maybe its a surprsie trip that he’s planning by first saying no to you and then he will suddenly pop-up one day at yoru door step 😀

  2. Oh dear Trishna, was so sad to read this. Post partum depression is terrifyingly real, went through it even though I was right here in the thick of family… want to reach out to you and give you a big hug, and say, take time out in the course of the day to do the things that are important to you, read a book, go for a walk (with Aadya perhaps) do anything that puts you back in touch with you. Take care…

  3. Hey! M is latched on to me so I’ll be brief. I know how you feel – I’ve been there when I had S. Try to find a “new moms” support group. Ask at the local hospital – they usually have information on these things. Having friends is very important and developing a few when you don’t have any is even more so. Sorry can’t write much but please do try this.

  4. hmm… I was expecting a travelogue and felt so sad by the time I reached the end of the post. Family and friends do make a difference. Especially at times like these. But be strong. All three of you are going to be fine.

  5. mail me at themadmomma@gmail.com and tell me where in the US you are. I have loads of friends who are new mothers around the US so i might be able to put you on to some friends. always better than strangers met on Orkut!

  6. Thanx everyone for your hugs and love..~nm- I wish you are right!And I get pleasantly surprised!Kiran-It always makes me feel good to see your comment on the moderation page.REading is something that I can never give up..Heck even managed to read a couple pages in the hospital!Its just slower now.Cee-You are so cool,to be able to type with M Latched on..I still havent mastered that.Asha-I am much better now and you can soon expect a travelogue very soon.MM- Thanxfor your offer.I emailed you :)( not one to waste time, you see)

  7. GettingThereNow

    MM’s comment made me realize that I live here in the US too 😛 Email me at gettingtherenow at gmail dot com for my phone number.

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