We got back from a weekend road trip to LA last night.It was a fun trip and calls for another post..But right now,I feel so low and gloomy.Aadya has been fussy all day long,refusing to nurse and refusing to sleep on the bed or in her crib..And there is this crying every hour…
Throughout the trip, I would nurse her when she was awake and change her diaper,let her stretch and then put her in the car seat.DH feels that’s may be she thinks that i will strap her into the car seat again and so doesn’t want to nurse.May be it is true.
I thought she must be tired and tried to make her sleep and she was sleepy.. but refused to be put down. Now,its the end of the day and I am at my wits ends.I have never felt this way in the last 3 and a half month.
I was trying to wean her off the Paci(her Pacifier) butI postponed it to later,may be when she is not as stressed out as now.
The nursing has been better since around 8 pm..and now DH is putting her back to sleep.I just needed a breather..Suddenly,I am feeling sad for being alone here,away from family during my pregnancy and during the initial post-partum days.Is this post-partum depression? I just chatted with this friend who was pregnant around the same time as me and she spent most of her pregnancy and postpartum days with her parents..Her Baby is 5 months old now..and she is just going back to be with her hubby now..Could that have added to my depression?My dad was planning to visit us from August 1st and somehow that doesn’t seem to be materialising just yet..May be I am sad because of that.
I know,I would have never stayed away from DH for that long.I know he wanted to be involved every step of the way with my pregnancy and baby.But suddenly,it seems like he is always so busy,during my pregnancy he was trying to finish off his work to enjoy the baby’s arrival.And I know he is still trying his best to be as involved as possible..And upon the baby’s arrival,by a crazy twist of fate,his work increased ten-folds.Then he fell sick.He is taking it easy now..at least easier than he used to..but…Its not that he doesnt try..he does.But I dont know..I mean he is the one running around to grab a clean diaper or the baby oil or the towel,while I just hold the baby or bathe her or talk to her.He even takes her out for a walk..so that i can cook in peace!
And lastly(but in no way,least)the lack of friends around makes it harder.I have always been a very friendly,people’s person.And suddenly I find myself without anyone to talk to..Anyone other than DH..Sure I am still in touch with my some close friends over email and phone,I talk to my dad almost everyday and chat with sis every other day,but I so need a girlfriend HERE.The only thing that makes me feel like ME now is -Blogging..And all you blogging friends are more real to me than anyone else right now..Thanks for being there..And thanks for listening.I feel a little better after ranting!