Monthly Archives: December 2007

4 years and counting..

December 20th 2007

It’s our 4th wedding anniversary today and if I look back I can say all in all we have had 4 very enjoyable years- with a fair share of ups and downs. While we have had our bickering..almost every day,we made up almost every single time before going to bed.

Last year this time, we were waiting for our baby’s arrival and today celebrating our anniversary with her, just was a special experience. Yesterday I took Aadya to the mall and we picked up some greeting cards and a gift for DH. I am big on cards with “just right” words and luckily for me every year I manage to find just the right greeting. This year I found two such..Before I write those words,I have to tell you this- Since the last few days there have been major fights in our household. For no apparent reason,one of us would blow our top and then keep fuming. So much that we didn’t even feel inclined to make up! And I was in no mood to celebrate the anniversary. Anyway,so we fought on the weekend,then patched up..then again on Monday and I refused to talk. The sweet guy that he is,came home early and took me to the mall. I was being a super B**** and refused to walk with him! he still walked along side by side..Sometime later..I dunno when or how,I found myself reaching for his hand and we came home happy.

sometime later I remembered that I was angry and reminded him half-heartedly and he very sportingly told me he knew I was still upset! Upset! My foot! I don’t even remember now, why we were fighting ..This is what happened last year and neither one of us remembers the reason for that fight too!Are you beginning to see a pattern here?I mean other than the fact that I am the mean one? That we fight..but the important thing is we remember how we made up! And I think that’s what makes him so special..that’s what makes us work! *Knock on the wood*

Here are the words from my “just perfect”card-

We just knew

We knew

what we wanted
and it was more
than just each other
it was a way
of being together.

We decided to take the best

of what our parents gave us
and leave the worst behind.

We listened to what our friends

had to say,but let a lot of it slide

And we vowed,among other things,

never to take each other for granted,
because we knew love like this
doesn’t come to everyone….

And we knew that if we just

remembered how lucky we are
to have each other,everything else
would work out all right.

And it has.

It has,hasn’t it?

Here’s hoping we have many more happy years together .
And while I was still at Hallmark’s,I came across the cutest card ever and I just had to pick it up.It reads-

Mom and dad,

Hope your anniversary is as happy as can be!

And thanks,’cause if it weren’t for you..

there wouldn’t be a ME!

And the back cover reads- Am I thoughtful or what?!!

We went out for a lovely dinner at a kid-friendly Mediterranean grill called Fadi’s Mediterranean Grill. Oh well, candle light dinners are out..Anyone offering their baby-sitting services?
Normally,I would spend my anniversary day,pampering myself-you know home facial and painting nails..and the likes,this year just changed diapers. but, here’s the big deal-
DH got me an 8 GB Apple iPod nano !Thanks Honey!
I am glad I married you- iPod or not!
All in all a great day!! Oh! and thanks for all the wishes everyone.
Edited to add- This post was started yesterday and it was going to be really mushy.Then,Aadya woke up and I got side-tracked and lost my chain of thoughts,so for now this will be it.

Tomato Chicken Curry

I loved tomatoes when I was a kid.So much that I even had a nickname for tomatoes..”Munnu” everytime I wanted to eat a tomato,I would ask my mom for a munnu! But,as I grew up my love for tomatoes slowly started to fade away,so much that when I started cooking,I would hardly use any tomatoes -unless it was for salads or soups.

Last week I had a whole bunch of tomatoes lying around. Neither of us was in mood for soup or salad and so,I sat down with my xeroxed copy of my mom’s recipe book and dug up a recipe which I loved when I was kid.But here’s the thing-it was a recipe for Tomato Chicken.

Now,using those tomatoes was one thing but cooking tomato chicken was another.While I always enjoyed this dish growing up,I wasn’t sure if it would turn out the same way.And as I started gathering the ingredients,I realised the recipe didnt call for any onions! Chicken curry without onions?No way!I was still apprehensive but my mouth was watering remembering the tomato Chicken curry my mom used to dish out. So,thinking of all those days so many years ago, sat down to chop tomatoes..remembering the aroma filling through the dining room,and just the right amount of sunlight filtering through those crisp white curtains,with strawberry prints.
Anyway so here’s the recipe-

Ingredients-

1kg chicken

1 kg tomato

2tsp ginger-garlic-green chili paste(preferably fresh)

2 bell peppers

2 tsp chili powder

1/2 tsp turmeric powder

1/2 tsp garam masala.

1 tbsp cashew paste.(soak cashew nuts in warm water for about 15minutes and grind)

salt to taste

1/4cup oil for cooking.

Preparation-

Clean and cut chicken into pieces of desired size.Apply a little salt and turmeric powder to the chicken piece and keep aside.

Chop tomatoes and bell peppers into big chunks.

In a heavy bottomed pot, heat oil and add the chicken pieces. Fry the chicken till it changes color. Add ginger -garlic paste and fry for about 2 minutes.Add salt,chili powder and turmeric powder too.

Add peppers and fry for another 2-3 minutes.

Add tomatoes and cook on a medium heat till tomatoes and chicken are cooked. Add cashew paste and simmer for another 5 minutes.Serve hot over rice or with roti.

And the vedict- “Just the right dash of hot and tangy flavors!”said DH!

P.S. I tried this recipe by substituting chicken with Paneer and it turned out even more tastier! Sorry I dont have pictures right now.Will upload them soon.

Go on try it and do come back and tell me how you liked it!

My response and more..

I started to reply to all the comments about my previous post in the comments section and then realised that it was getting too long and so decided to do another post-this time in a more relaxed and not-so-irritated mood.
Mona quoted from a book she is reading –what makes us do that to each other though is our own insecurity – our own fears that our decisions are not the right ones. and we can only validate our decisions by finding people who make similar decisions or converting people who make radically different decisions.
This simple statement says a lot and may be I see the logic too..But I am the kind of person,who hardly passes a judgement about others,so its kind of hard for me to accept it.I think try to weigh the other persons feeling, circumstances and reasons,before finally forming a judgement or opinion about them.And may be that’s one of the reasons why I don’t like confrontations,because I just cant find a smart retort to say then and there and then I keep brooding and fuming long after the moment has passed. But then by expecting the others to do the same,am I not trying to validate my own decision?
I have always refrained from commenting on SAHM and WM debates simply because I cannot seem to side with any one side.Both sides have their share of positives or negatives. While a SAHM might envy a WM her alone time(even if surrounded by an army of colleagues), a WM may be jealous of the SAHM’s leisurely spent day(yeah right!)Like Anitha commented on how she gets a hard time from her SAHM counter-parts.I come from a family of working women..both my grandmothers were working full-time too.My mom was a full-time WM till I was 12.And then, one day,she decided she wanted to be home for her kids and didn’t find it a tough call to make. I have seen her balance both her work and us brats and so am so in awe of all WM.But being a SAHM makes me realise how wrong I was to think my mom was free! She took that time to pursue her other interests and hobbies-We had a beautiful garden,always blossoming with flowers,which was the envy of the whole neighbourhood and while I burnt the midnight lamps,studying for my 10th, so did my mom,to get her Naturopathy diploma! She was a full-fledged Naturopath,before I passed 12th and all that despite managing a busy household and fighting Cancer.Anyway,so back to the post.. I knew it even before I got married or even had a boy-friend that I wanted to be a housewife for a little while.I always had an interesting career lined up in my dreams too and the plan was to take a break for a few months and then go back to work. Partly by circumstances,partly by chance and partly due to my own laid back attitude I ended up never seriously looking for a job. And again I was clear,that I didn’t want to stay away from DH and since his job meant we move often,I never got around to aggressively looking for a job. The one time that I did look up seriously, took up volunteering and they told me they’d hire me,I got pregnant.I was clear that I didn’t want to work toward thru the last trimester and due to my erratic cycles,I realised I was pregnant when the first trimester was practically over.I didn’t think it was fair on my part to take up a job for just 3 months..when someone else,more needier, could get it and keep it longer!Again I always knew,I wanted to be home with my baby for the first few years of his/her life..so you see..everything turned out pretty well.And for the first time in so many years I am happy where I am.
And normally,I am pretty unfazed by these discussions simply because I am happy. When we moved to Texas,DH asked me if I wanted to think about getting into research( which was a big deal to me at one point of time) and I was sure,I didn’t want to NOW! Few years down the lane-may be..or not. My dad harassed me over the phone and all through his trip about “doing something with my life”..I told him..not so sweetly(sorry dad) that I am doing something with my life!!He stayed here.. and saw that I was indeed content being just a mom for now.But its when I come across people like the last lady I mentioned,that make me mad! like Rayshma said ” one of them *whom i barely know* even went to the extent of commenting on “how diff can it be to get a work permit?”… well, none of her biz really, is it! “-
Yes, its none of her business!Same goes for the said person i wrote about- She is not working,a housewife..and so how can she question my choice? Sure she used to work a long time ago.. and So did I!It will be like me telling another SAHM ..oh why don’t you put your baby in day care and look for a job..But I wont..coz I cant bear the thought of my child being in a day-care..Hypocrite rite!!
Anyway,enough said..let me tell you something nice now.
Last Thursday,I got a call,from a fellow blogger-Shobana.It was just so nice talking to her. First time that she called,I was putting Aadya down for a nap..turned out,she didn’t want to nap at all..finally after 2 hours,I gave and returned Shobana’s call. This time,it was my turn to leave a voice mail and she called up promptly. It was really so comfortable,like talking to an old friend..none of the awkwardness of first time calls.I love talking and almost monopolised the conversation..I think I hardly gave the poor girl a chance to speak.And she thinks,I thought she was quiet..You know what’s funny.. in an odd way,it reminded me of my first phone conversation with DH,(then new guy)-I was this bubbly cheerful blabbering nutcase and he the quiet,calm listener…
Ohh the funny thing about my call with Shobana– I asked her very enthusiasticallyOhh so what was your line of work? and she said nutrition..when it belatedly struck me that it was right there on her profile on her blog!Silly me..Now you know..I am really a scatter-brain.
Shobana is such a sweetie..she mailed me the first time when I wrote about my mom and since then, we have exchanged occasional emails.When I wrote about my lump,she asked me for my number..tentatively..and then let me blabber before finally asking about the lump.Its like she is there holding hands,silently hanging around.Thanks for taking the initiative,girl!
This reminds me of another incident-the day my mom passed away, we were naturally going crazy. It was way past 10 and our friends were still with sis and me.We are really lucky to have this group of friends.Even today,they are the ones I look up to when I need something.Sis was hyperventilating and everyone was hovering around her..trying to comfort her..Finally,our family Dr. gave her a shot to make her sleep..I don’t know when,I started crying again silently.And a friend who is normally the quiet types,came and stood by me..quietly wiped my tears and patted me on the head, in the most loving protective gesture. Then, he held my hands and asked me to talk..something anything..just talk.I can still see it as clearly as that day. That one gesture..made him extra special to me.He is still a very special friend. And a great guy at that..Any single girls,looking for a great guy?Sometimes,even the smallest of gestures can leave an ever-lasting impression on your mind.
Hmm.. see this is what happens..when I sit down to write with a clear mind!!I will stop here.
And 2b’s mommy.. now that you are a good girl.. sure you can come back..:)

Why don’t you…..?

Why don’t you use cloth diapers? Why don’t you handwash the baby’s clothes? Why don’t you take up a job?Why don’t you stay over at your dad’s for a few months? Why don’t you celebrate the baby’s birthday at your dad’s?

What is it with people these days? Just about everyone has some pearls of wisdom that they want to share with me.Is it well-meant advice or just a judgement of my choices? Well,whatever its irritating me like hell!

An old friend recently moved back to USA.And I was really happy talking to her,catching up on the last 2-3 years.We talked about this and that and then,like all mommies,got to talking about our babies,deliveries,etc.What seemed like an innocent exchange soon turned into a Question and Answer round or should I say the game of one upmanship!

A- Did you have a normal delivery or a c-sec? C-sec.

A-Ohh if you had tried harder,you could have had a normal delivery. Well, No..the baby was in distress,so C-sec it was.Did you have a normal delivery?

A-No..But I was in labour for almost 10 hours.hmm..it doesn’t matter,as long as the baby is fine.

A- So, who came for your delivery?No-one.

A- Your sis doesn’t know what its like..she hasn’t seen anything, you should have called MIL!She could have helped.Umm..Helped? How?Surely I wasn’t going to ask her to help me change or anything.And what’s there to know..wasnt there a doctor just for that!

A- Ohh with your shower n stuff..I think we managed pretty well.(I was active till the last day of my pregnancy,took a shower the day after my C-sec and helped DH warm food the day I came back from Hospital.And even took care of sick DH and Sick MIL at one month post-partum! So,I think we were fine.and no,I did not tell her all this.)

A-(Changing topic)-So,do you use cloth diaper or nappies for the baby? No,just good ole’ Huggies.No time or energy to wash after every poopy or wet diaper!

A- Why don’t you use cloth diapers.You have washing machine at home na?! Yes! (but just two hands and only 24 hours!)

The rest of the conversation is a blur in my mind. All the excitement I had of catching up,kinda fizzled off! May be there is nothing wrong with this conversation.But,when I think about it..A spent 2/3rd of her pregnancy and 9 months post-partum at her parents place,because she was too tired.Her only job was to feed the baby(self-confessed)..Someone who doesn’t even know how many times her baby needed a diaper change, certainly doesn’t have any business asking me why I don’t use cloth diapers for my baby.

Another friend who spent more than 6 months post-partum at her parents place and always jokes about how her baby knows her grandparents better than her father..started explaining me how its no big deal whether DH is present with us on Aadya’s first birthday or not.Apparently,it is a big deal to me and to DH.It was my choice to stay with DH through out my pregnancy and I stood by it.Sure,I have my downers and crib about how I never got pampered or how tired I am..but,I would never trade those precious moments we spent dreaming of our baby,together.

Breast-feeding or formula? Are you breast feeding?Yes! Then why are you giving her a bottle now?because! When do you plan to wean her off?umm haven’t thought about it! OH you should have weaned her off by now!( Umm don’t I get to decide that?)

Are you working?No,I am a SAHM. Were you working before you had the baby?No,I didn’t have a work permit and besides,I was happy moving around places with DH!Oh..you should have worked!(Can I decide that,Please? Please?)This is a question so many of us are asked. Somehow,a lot of people find it hard to understand that may be this is what I want to do,right now! I have these moments when I think that may be I should take up a course or a job.. and then I bug my good friends AP and V, about what I should do! AP is the sweetest person I know.She always has something nice to say..she has her calm way of explaining,all the while trying to understand where I am coming from. V on the other hand, has a lot of experience and knows exactly what she thinks about ABC.. and she doesn’t hesitate to give me a piece of her mind. But,I love them both and don’t mind what they say. And besides,they tell me when I ask or share my confusions with them.I always come away with a probable solution or some idea worth saving .We are a mixed lot truly-AP- quiet and serene.ME-excited and confused.VD-A lot more assertive and just Precise.Anyway,I digress..

So..back to pesky Questions- This lady,DH’s ex-classmate met me on chat( what are all these people doing on my list-Don’t ask!) and asked me –

So, how’s life?Good!

Did you guys apply for GC?No, we are not going to.We want to go back!

So, are you working now?No,I am a full-time mom.

Ohh,not working ,May be if you were working you would feel differently about GC!No,I dont think so! are you working?

No! But I keep busy taking courses at the community college. Oh so don’t you have classes today?

No! I am on a break!

See what I mean! I don’t even know this person well enough for her to ask me all these questions.We were at a party last year and this woman tells the group in general,”Oh I hate these housewives”..She paused then, turned to me and said.”Oh no offense haan”I said “why would I take offense, when 2/3rds of the women were housewives in that particular group.I asked her later, she was a housewife too, then… and has been ever since…And she was meeting me for the first time!I don’t know.. when I meet people like this,I wonder if they ever think before talking.I mean how can you judge another person’s choices?

You make a choice-because you think it is right for you.If anyone has a right to question your decision,its you!I wish people would just mind their own business and not tell me what to do? And,then sometimes I wonder if I have “Punch Me” written in big red letters on my face!

I just had to get it off my chest and so just typed without editing..so,if you are still reading,sorry its a jumbled up mess !

Quirks and me?

I have so many pending tags..if they were pearls I would have myself a brand new necklace!OH OK ..that’s not funny.. but come on..its 1.30 am..I can hardly see straight..leave alone being funny..So, what am i doing here.. well..just have the urge to blog..yeah.. that’s me..quirky,eh?
Anyway,Mona asked me to write about my quirks!
So here it is…
The rules are:
1. Link to the person that tagged you, and post the rules on your blog.
2. Share 7 random and/or weird facts about yourself.
3. Tag 7 random people at the end of your post, and include links to their blogs.
4. Let each person know that they’ve been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.
So here goes-
1) I hate folding laundry but when I do,I like my laundry to be folded in a particular way only.And if its not folded that way,I sit and redo it..explaining and re-explaining it to the offending party again and again.So much for helping me.Same is my dedication towards loading the dishwasher.It has to be loaded in a particular fashion only..cups and glasses arranged height wise and bowls in the middle..Yeah..laugh all you like..there is a way to madness.
2) I have to have a head bath every single day- no matter how cold it is. But I don’t feel like I have had a shower till I don’t emerge from the steamy bathroom with wet hair.And here’s the thing,just wetting the hair doesn’t cut it for me-nope!it has to be shampooed and air dried.
3) I have to use a moisturiser every morning after I brush my teeth and wash my face -even before taking a shower! And I have to slather moisturiser every night before bed too. And I wash my hands every time I chop something,stir something( my palms start sweating),touch something cold-They are wet anyway,might as well wash ’em! In short, whenever I am in the kitchen,I wash my hands every few minutes and then I think they are dry and so have to use some lotion every few hours!Speaking of hands,I always trim my hand nails left first and then right and then move on to toes-every single time!
4) I just cannot leave a book unfinished-no matter how cheesy it is.If I start it,I have to finish it. And with time flying away at jet speed these days,I am stuck with some dull reads for a long long time.I am always reading at least 2 books at the same time- one for the day and one for night-time.Same is the case with projects-craft projects-If I have just one project at hand,it just keeps lying around till I eventually forget about it.But,if I have two simultaneous projects,they are inspiration enough.
5)I have to have to change Aadya’s diaper every time.Though I sulk about being the one changing more diapers than DH, but I have to know about her diaper count and poop quality and quantity!(I know its gross! but hey! you asked!) My logic behind it- well,I just feel…OH I don’t know what I feel!
6)I like the cushions on my couch to be kept in a particular manner and I don’t like the order to be disturbed. Now, with Aadya’s love for pulling the cushions down,I am constantly putting them back,and she keeps pulling them down..good fun!May be its one of her quirks!
7)Last,but not the least,I don’t like it if anyone interferes in my cooking.A little help here and there is fine.. but my kitchen is my territory and I don’t like anyone else getting too comfortable there! And I crib about not getting a break!
Quirky or not, you tell me!
Now I am sure,most of you must have already done this tag.. but if not please take it up!

She did it!

Aadya finally managed to take wobbly 2- steps! and Again..I,a mom who wants to stay-at -home so that she doesnt miss all this,missed it!
But I am just so happy,she did it!
Will write more when I see it !
For now,Aadya took her first two steps.
You go,baby!

8 months and counting

Aadya turned 8 months old on November 30th. Boy,the last month has been busy busy..Busy for me ,because the In laws were here for Diwali-busy for Aadya because she has too keep thinking of new mischiefs to get into!Its like her mind is constantly thinking- hmm OK so I finished tearing up this paper,may be I should pull myself up to a standing position … hmm and while I am at it,why not pull the cushion down..OK the cushion is down on the floor now to throw it..OK OK I know you got what I am trying to say!
I knew you wouldn’t believe me,so i video-taped it, but got carried away in my motherly love and forgot to stop recording,the video is now more than 5 minutes long and I cant upload it anywhere.Any ideas where I can upload it?

So, this little baby is a full fledged cruiser now.She happily cruises around the place,following me from room to room. Well,she is not very happy about me leaving the room.Yes,separation anxiety has kicked in and so,as long as I am sitting around,being a couch potato,she is happy playing, by herself. She does sneak glances at me,but she is pretty much playing alone.But the movement I get up, she starts following me at full speed and then demands to be picked up.And if I don’t pick her up,then the crying starts. But one good thing is she understands “Come”.So,if I don’t pick her up and tell her,”Come,come to Mamma,baby” ,she happily comes..crawling on all fours!
She has been trying to stand up,without support and now manages to balance herself for a good minute or so. And all she wants to do is stand.She never stops practicing,she tries,she falls,she tries again and again and then succeeds and smiles..if we are not looking even calls out to us..screams to attract attention,is more like it.We have so much to learn from these babies,na?She loves holding the furniture and moving sideways or holding her crib and moving forward.

And every now and then she goes on a scavenger hunt..finding the tiniest piece of biscuit or paper and pops it in her mouth.How does she find’em when my glasses adorned eyes and heavy duty vacuum cleaner miss’em?Beats me!Speaking of popping in her mouth,I wonder why only trash finds its way to her mouth, and why not the baby biscuits.Give her a baby rusk or some baby munchies and they are either crushed to a fine powder with fingers or thrown around like that’s what they are for! Give her a piece of chapati instead and at least she tries to bite it,holding it with both the hands like a squirrel..cute!

Since we are talking about food ,let me tell you about meal times. Meal times are just getting messier each day. Aadya wants to help herself now,the big independent girl that she is.She wants to dip her hand in the food,hold her spoon herself.She is now slurping solids and 3-4 times a day with fruits and vegetables(mashed or pureed).But,its not as happily eaten as before.Some well-meaning friend asked me if Aadya was eating well..and I opened my big mouth and told her how well she was eating.”Aha!”,thought the J monster,”Time for me to appear,in Aadyaland“. And appear he did! Since that day, every meal time is a disaster! 3 spoonfuls are taken in happily,then Aadya gets busy looking down,I think scanning her tray for any dust,”Shoni,baby please,1 more..1 more baby” manages to get in another 3-4 spoons And then starts the crying,which just wont stop till she is not out of her booster seat on to my lap. The next few spoonfuls are partaken seating on mamma’s lap, trying to fling royal self backwards,banging her head, more crying,trying to grab the bowl,getting mad about not being able to touch it.. Ohh J-monster, go away! Give me my baby back!

Same is the case at Dudu-time. Slightest of sound and it has to be inspected by Inspector Aadya,satisfied she turns back to take a sip but not before cocking her head to make sure the sound has stopped really! And dare mamma get tired of all this and close shop, another crying is in order!So, in short major part of our day is spent in extended meal-times! Not a bad deal,any pending chore is easily accounted for-Oh I was taking care of the baby! πŸ˜€

And last but not the least,sleep! I reading somewhere that as you baby is growing, she will want to sleep less and I thought,oh no! she is my daughter,she will love sleep as much as I do.Well, she loves her sleep but sleeps only when she wants to! So,I put her to bed at around 8.30 and she is up at 9.30,10,10.30,11.00 ..and so on till we don’t go to bed.And she claims her rightful place between us. So, the crib we loving chose, spent so many hours browsing the Internet,looking for reviews,and checked out so many stores,is lying unused for most part of the day!Yes, Co-sleeping is in!And some days she decides that the only place to sleep in is mommy’s arms.I know partly teething is to blame.All you mommies with babies-Tharini,AP,MM,Shobana,and everyone else, who I am not writing because I really want to finish this post tonite, help me out!All ideas are welcome.

Well there’s more-(This post is not all complains).Now some fun bits-

Aadya loves sitting under the dining table and playing and that’s her favorite place so far.Every time I see her sitting there,playing with her plastic spoons n bulb syringe ( LOL) yes the bulb syringe is the most favorite toy these days,I fall in love with her all over again.

As soon as she wakes up,she starts crawling. it is such a cute sight- my cutie pie, eyes still closed crawling calling out mimi..awww that’s it,I just have to pick her up n hug her.. how can I not?wouldn’t you?

Aadya knows what BYE means. So,she goes and hides somewhere,I call out to her,she doesn’t come.Tell her bye Aadya, mamma is going and she comes ambling out! All smiles that she didn’t let mamma go. And also,now she knows that when Papa leaves in the morning,when she is still sleepy,its ok.But when he is going somewhere after he comes back,then OK. She has to go with him.

Cuddling after dudu-no more.Now, as soon as she finishes her job,she wants to be put down,so she can crawl and stand and practice standing alone. Ohh ,my baby is growing up!

We are already in the last month of 2007 and to think, first 3 months of 2007,before Aadya’s birth seemed indefinitely long.
8 months and counting…..

I am fine

And thanx for the concern everyone. Shobana and Reshma,thanks for mailing in-I will be replying soon.

About the lump,its still here.My doctor didnt think there was anything to worry about as long as it didnt change or become painful.As of now,its not changed or is not painful. I will be seeing my doctor again in a month’s time even if there is no change and then she’ll take a call.

Hopefully everything should be fine and God Willing,I might be able to go to India ..and if required,see the doctors there too.

It really touched me how many people care about a person they havent even met..it really made me very happy to know that I have so many well-wishers,even those who are willing to scold me πŸ™‚

Love you all!

This and that

ILs came and left ..Diwali passed happily-Aadya turned 8 months old..So many things happened,I have been away only a little while but it feels like I have been away forever. Every time I sit down to write,some other pressing work that has-to-be done comes up and I put away the writing for a later time.

Aadya is so mobile now.She is cruising around from room to room so effortlessly.While its fun to watch,I have to keep a constant eye out on her..ALL the TIME! Just last week,she was playing in the living room.I remembered something and went to the walk-in closet in the bedroom. I found what I was looking for and turned..only to find some soft lump hitting my foot. Its this little imp sitting at my feet,looking up adoringly.She reminded me of a small puppy πŸ™‚ And then she raised her hands to be picked up!

So,now she can get to places easily and on her own- which is good because if I am going from one room to another, she happily follows me.. well not always, sometimes she is crying and crawling-crying because the separation anxiety has kicked in and so she doesn’t want me to out of her sight ever! this mobility is not so good.. coz if I put her down and get on with my work,she comes and tugs at my pants and wants to be picked up!It is tiring to constantly lug her around!I am just so tired all the time.If it is possible,every single bone and muscle in body is aching and I can feel all the ache separately. Yesterday for the first time since her birth,I yelled at Aadya and felt so guilty about it later. She had got her flu shot and was being very fussy and I was just too tired and she just wanted to be with me and cry. Sorry baby

And then around end of October or first week of November,I found a lump in my arm-pit.This was around the same time that 2 b’s mom wrote about her lump.It was just so nice to see all your messages to her.One part of me wanted to write about it here and share it with you,and the other was scared to just put it down in writing.So this was a small lump- a little bigger than a pea.. but it scared the hell out of me. That’s how my mom’s cancer had started.I took an appointment with my doctor and she checked it out and said it looked more superficial.So,she put me on a 14 day antibiotic course and come back if it still didn’t go away. Then,the ILs were here and I decided to go back to see the doctor after they left, because it still didn’t go away. So, anyway,I went back last week and the doctor said, it did look smaller but it is deep rooted.But there is a high likelihood that it is because I am still breastfeeding! So,we can wait till I stop breast-feeding or go in for a general surgery to perform a biopsy. DH immediately said that I should wean off Aadya right away.I know he has my best interests at heart, but I am not ready. I know Aadya will do equally well on formula, but I am just not ready.And I don’t want to get any surgery done here..it is going to be so difficult,no one to help-it is going to so stressful for all concerned. So, we are just watching the lump now..hope it stays like that and if at all changes for good.

Last week was my mom’s death anniversary.Every year,its as if on that day,I relive the events that took place on that fateful day. This year though I was distracted with Aadya but still, i don’t know when a silent chill crept up,making me sad and depressed.

And having visitors over for the last few months,suddenly being alone is a welcome change but at the same time,my heart pines for home.. home-back home.Those unexpected knocks on the door, those doily-covered dishes exchanged without any reasons,anytime is time for chai and gupshup..At least you know who your neighbours are -these are just some of the things that I have been thinking about :)I hope we can go home,sometime soon πŸ™‚

And now after all this melancholy,let me share something sweet that made me smile-
Yesterday,Aadya got her flu shot. She knows the nurse at our GP’s office now and was chatting with her and she kept telling her- aww sweetie, you are not going to like me in a few minutes. So, while they were talking,Aadya got her poke -suddenly her eyes became so wide with pain and she started screaming. DH took her from me( remember I am part of the conspiracy)but Aadya turned towards the nurse and started scolding her.
Aadya- frowning-aaa aaa daa baaa
Nurse- I know I am sorry
Aadya- baaa..hmmmnnnaaa
Nurse- I know baby I am sorry,will you forgive me
Aadya- still mad..ammmmaaa.. unggaa
Nurse- Ohh I know..Ok, you think about it..
Aadya- uaahh..
And that was it,I couldn’t help but laugh over this serious conversation..and had a smile on my lips every time I thought about it.

Edited to add– Can someone please tell me where Swati is and if SM is blogging again..?I have been meaning to ask about these two favorite bloggers for quiet some time now. if you are both reading, write back πŸ™‚