Monthly Archives: April 2008

Why I want a second one

This is a post I wrote for Desi Mom’s club.

The theme this month is-Sibling Love

First off,lovely theme,Mummyjaan. Its the perfect theme for me,since,I spent this entire month,thinking of my sister,M and eagerly anticipating her visit and she arrives tomorrow.I am also really looking forward to hearing from mommies with 2 or more kids. As most of you know,I am one of the other mommies,one of those who are still enjoying the precious first one. But,one thing I am sure of,I want a second one. And I was sure of this even before having Aadya. And friends and cousins would tease me,”Oh wait till you have one..And then,you’d say I am DONE!” Funnily,I am not. Every time I see a mommy walking by with two kids,I picture Aadya with her younger brother or sister..and the image makes me smile.If I think seriously,why I want two-I think it is most definitely because of the relationship I share with M. We are like normal sisters and that means a lot of bickering,a lot of cribbing..but that also means a lot of caring and a lot of love. More than anything else,I know,she will be there for me,whenever I need her.And that is really reassuring. That is what every parent wants for their child,that steady person,in his or her life,whom they can depend on without hesitation.We had our share of sibling rivalry too.I didn’t particularly like being the responsible one, watching over my baby-sister all the time. But,I couldn’t stand it if someone tried to pick on her. Then,I would turn defensive and hit out at the said person. Slowly over the years,roles have changed and she is the responsible one and I get to be the baby..that I like :)That’s the kind of sibling,I want for Aadya,someone she can fight with..but run right back to.Someone whom she can call up,when we are old and senile and giving her a hard time about her new Boy-friend. Sure they will have their rough patches and sure there will be days,when I will be pulling my hair off and ready to give them both up for adoption, but there will be also be double hugs and not to mention,comfort in the knowledge,that they will have each other,after we are dead and gone. I sometimes wonder though,how will I manage a new born and Aadya both together and then,I think of M, again. So many years of my life,I begrudgingly sharing my room with her and now,I would give anything to share a room with her again..Strange are the ways of life.One episode from our childhood,always stands out in memory and I would like to share that with you,before I go.M was always sick as a child.She used to have prolonged bouts of Asthama and she had to be kept indoors,all the time. So,when I got ready to go out and play,my mom would change her clothes and dress her up smartly too. And then,M would take her regular position by the window. One time we were playing catch and the boy,who was chasing,ran up to me and grabbed me..I tried to run away,and he pushed me and I fell down.In the heat of the game,I still wanted to escape and he tried to stop me by almost sitting on me. We were around 5-6years old and li’l M around 3-4 and she saw this. And she started screaming..”Leave my sister”,”Don’t do anything to her”.. She was so angry, she was holding the window rails,gnawing teeth,screaming non-stop,till my mom finally came and picked her up and pacified her.Every time,we had a fight,my mom used to remind us of this episode and we would promptly make up..Even now,when I think of it,I can’t help but smile.I am looking forward to seeing her tomorrow and spending some quality time with her..and all of you,out there,keep your fingers crossed and send up a little prayer for Aadya to get a loving sibling like her auntie M.
Oh and here is the post, I wrote about her,almost one year back.

Riddle-me-Ree, Who can she be?

Greetings wonderful MTBs!!!
and good work to all of you!
For having solved the riddle before
I give you all this clue.

The letter ” O “

Write it down, add it on…
And let’s move on to the next little song.

“She could host a Boston tea party
and tries so very hard to be good
shifting jobs and settling in smartly
She would blog more if she could.”

Solve it and you get your lead
Misguess, and you lose your speed
Solve it slow but solve it now
And before you go, take a little bow

Go to ‘Comments’ and leave me a clue
Tell me which blog you are off to.
Good luck! Good luck! Be on your way.
You have your work, cut out for the day!

First step forward

My baby turned one and I am still lugging around the baby fat. Truth be told,I still look 5 months pregnant. I started with some basic exercises at home,sometime in February..after we moved to the new apartment.Since I was still nursing Aadya full time, I didn’t want to play with my diet.And every time,I started something before this,I was either too tired or just couldn’t fit in a real work-out in my day and so stopped after a day or two.
In the meantime,my friend P kept going to the gym regularly and started seeing results too.. she kept motivating me,gently chiding me when I took a break from work-out. Finally one day,something snapped and I knew I had to do something and I started my exercises at home. But it was always a rushed workout on my living room floor,while Aadya was napping.Soon the naps got shorter and the workout even shorter and I had to stop so many times,because apparently Aadya didn’t want mommy to play by herself. I ordered some videos and started working out with that. Aadya seems to like those better. I think she likes the instructor!
Anyway,since these sessions are always rushed or interrupted,I didn’t enjoy them so much.Sometimes,I even got upset,with myself, or DH or even Aadya. I lost some teeny-tiny bit of weight and I kept thinking if only I had put in more effort..Then,yesterday,I went and joined a health club. A proper health club..and it is expensive. But they are real close to home, have good child-care and just the whole atmosphere makes me want to be there. Also,since its expensive,I know..I need to put that money to good use. And now,please don’t ask me how expensive..I thought and almost went and cancelled the membership.. then,thought to myself..after 2 years of being pregnant or nursing,1 year of continuously being with Aadya,I deserve a bit of pampering. Its not that I don’t want to be with her..or that I don’t like being home with her.. but its just that I feel,I need to do something for myself too.
Despite the great baby-sitting services offered,I don’t know if she is ready for it.. or may be I am the one who is not ready for it. Today,DH dropped me at the gym,while the father-daughter duo went for a drive and some fun time. I really enjoyed my time there. Being able to exercises without feeling rushed was a luxury in itself. Every time,I thought about how Aadya was doing,I calmed myself by reminding myself that she was with her dad. I walked out the door,and saw them,both,waiting for me in the lobby. Aadya was walking around.DH pointed out to me,where she was..I walked up and stopped a little distance away,right in front of her and stretched my hands,”come baby come”..and she just froze..There was absolutely no recognition on her face.”Come on..come come..”There was a young couple standing by,near the reception,they turned too,to watch the great reunion.. But.. no such luck..Baby just refused to come to me.. turned her pretty ass up at me,and walked up to her dad.
HUH??? One hour.. one hour I was away and she forgot me?? I won’t lie,I was a little disappointed. Every morning when DH leaves,she cries,wanting to be taken along.Every time he steps in that door,her face lights up,she squeals,waves and says a sweet “Hi”..and for me,nothing!!! I picked her up,and was buckling her up,when she suddenly looked at me..and said “hi” like that was the first time,she was seeing me!!Go figure!
OH well,here’s to more steps forward,more dropped pounds and may be tomorrow,I will get my squeal of joy from Aadya!
I stopped myself from writing about my work-outs,for the fear of jinxing myself ..but what the heck..Anyway, you guys, please keep sending me regular doses of morale boosters 🙂 and any words of wisdom would be highly appreciated.

Party time

I think,its time to tell you about the party-its been a week,about time,the party post surfaced.
So,Aadya woke up a little before 12.00 am on 29th night.Just in time,to bring in her birthday.And she looked so fresh,I decided to let her stay awake. We cut the cake and then,she went back to bed.
I had been fretting about getting every thing done,a week before the party..but with DH’s work and my inability to drive,it never happened.So,we spent most of the Saturday, tying up lose ends and taking care of last minute details. All that and dinner and finally,arrived home around 11.00pm. I still had one major work to complete after Aadya went back to bed.That was packing the goodies bags.So,Aadya and my friend Vidya caught up on their required beauty sleep ,while DH and I, finished packing those. I even had plans to bake cup-cakes for my little guests,but never got around to it. May be next year.
March 30th
I woke up earlier than Aadya and sneaked into the shower.I heard the phone ring,when I was still in the shower. I thought,it must one of the family members calling up to wish Aadya. When I checked the answering machine,it turned out to be the bakery. My cake-decorator had told me,she would call me if she had any doubts. So,I spoke to her,explained again,what exactly I wanted for my baby’s cake and then,went to wake up Aadya. The reason for doubt-There were too many things,that I wanted her to do..there were too many colors that I wanted her to use..well not too many,just specific colors for specific parts of the cake. DH said his head was spinning by the time I hung up.I think I am going to take cake-decorating classes.. if I start now,I may be half way decent in time for Aadya’s next birthday. Anyway,I digress. So,I woke up DH first and then,we both woke up Aadya together,by bringing her to our bed and then cuddling with her.She was happy,right away. But she woke up coughing,and I knew that wasn’t a good sign. And sure enough,it wasn’t.She just didn’t want to let go of me,even for a second.
After she had her bottle,DH gave her a bath and I dressed her up in a frilly dress that her Grand-parents had sent. She looked adorable but,it was a little heavy and uncomfortable for her. She started crying right away.We managed to click a quick picture for GPs and took it off. I let her walk around in nothing but a diaper,while I fed her cheerios. And it was almost time to go to our venue.I quickly gave her a dose of tylenol and got her dressed and we were on our way.
DH dropped us and went to pick up the cake.We quickly spruced up the place,with the decorations,that I had sorted out in assorted bags..I couldn’t take pictures of the decorated place,because I had just finished decorating and the first of our guests walked in.
So,that brings us to the theme..The theme,that I chose for Aadya’s party was Butterfly Princess.Why butterfly Princess?She loves butterflies and she is our Princess!!
I chose pink and purple as the main colors. We tied pink & purple balloons to the chairs There were some silver ones too but I have no idea where they disappeared. Then,of course there were the birthday banners and streamers.. lots of pinks there too and lots of butterflies on the banners. The walls at Tantra,the restaurant,were painted a dark purple and I think the the pink banner looked really nice there. We lined up some tables with pink streamers too. Though we never used those tables!
The room had a bar,then a lounge area and then a long table.We just ended up using that..and my decorated tables remained unnoticed.Most of our guests didn’t know each other and so I was worried about there being those awkward silent moments. But luckily everyone got along so well with each other,it just never felt like they were seeing each other for the first time. And of course,I got to meet Ms.Upsi
And I have to tell you,she is adorable..though not as adorable as her lil one.And Mr.Upsi is really nice too.
The cake was chocolate flavored,iced pink with lots of butterflies and pink white and purple roses on it. The sides were blue and they were covered with a lacy trim.And though it was a shade darker than I wanted,I was happy with the way it looked. It was totally a girlie cake.

The cake was cut and eaten and the birthday girl promptly fell asleep,without a fuss. I couldn’t believe it she was so clingy till everyone arrived. DH was holding her and she just fell asleep,just like that.. no singing, no rocking.. just put her head on his shoulder and zzzz. And she slept peacefully till,everyone finished eating.The kids had a fun time running around.There were 3 other kids and all of them around 2 years of age.Once they were fed,they happily mingled,stopping only to go peek at the sleeping Aadya. One little went a little ahead and put a party hat on Aadya,put a balloon next to her and gave her her gift yet again…A huge teddy bear.So,when I turned to check on Aadya all I could see was the teddy bear and the party hat!
What started off as a formal gathering,soon turned informal.I think,it did.. everyone just opted for soft-drinks in the beginning,by the end of the afternoon,almost everyone had bee-lined for the bar,to get their favorite cocktails.

The menu was-
Appetizers-Cocktail samosa,vegetable cutlets,chicken tikka and chicken 65
Main course- Dal Makhni,Navratan Korma,Bhindi Masala,Malabari Chicken,Chicken Chettinad,Naan,Rice
Dessert-Mango Custard-Thick Mango shake,with lots of cut fruits in it.

I had planned on having some games,but everyone seemed to have a relaxed time,and I was just happy looking at all the happy faces,enjoying the food,sipping on their drinks-cocktails or coke. And Aadya was happy too.. she woke up fresh from her nap and then feasted on some mango custard and enjoyed sipping water from the straw. That’s her latest hobby! Ohh ,that reminds me,I sipped my first alcoholic drink in more than 2 years- a Mango-tini,compliments of the chef at Tantra.

Soon,it was time to see off our guests. We handed out gift bags … There were some fun bubble makers for the kids,and stickers and body tattoos..and for each family,I found these really retro photo frames and a small Noah’s arc show-piece.I wanted everyone to have something to remember Aadya’s 1st birthday by.I loved the photo frames so much,I picked up a couple for my living room too.
I had originally planned to just have a small dinner party at home or may be a cup-cake birthday party with the kids. But,we had never had any big celebrations for her..and so,she had to have the perfect birthday party. Or should I say,I wanted to have the perfect birthday party for my Princess.

All in all,a good 1st birthday and a great party,I think.

One year old

March 30th,2008
Aadya turns one year old. And as I sit down to write this post,I don’t know what to write.I have written and re-written this post in my many times that all I can come up with now is a blank.

This last month has been very emotional…It was like,I just looked at Aadya and realised that she had suddenly grown up. My baby,who loved to be picked,who was content to be just held,was suddenly kicking and pushing to jump out of my arms,so that she could walk. The tiny baby that I gave birth to is suddenly an independent toddler.

But then I realise,she was always somewhat of a free spirit,always having her own mind.She surprised us by looking into our eyes,when we spoke to her,even when she was a week old. If something upset her,she would just cock up her eyebrows,pout those tiny lips and start crying. At one month’s age,she was holding her neck steady and had already rolled once from right to left.She was mostly a happy baby..I don’t remember her crying a lot,even if she did,I didn’t quiet notice it..

My first official glimpse (4 hours after birth)

I fell in love with her,almost instantly..I don’t really remember,how she looked,when I first caught a glimpse of her,in DH’s arms.I was a little high on all the pure oxygen that I was inhaling and she was partly hidden behind him..and then they whisked her away.The next time I saw her,I had just thrown up,and was all misty eyed. And the nurse wheeled in this tiny bundle.The room was suddenly too noisy,some of our acquaintances couldn’t stop themselves from stopping by! And all I wanted was to hold her… to have her all to myself.

We started telling her age in days, and then weeks and finally months..And each single day,brought out something new. There was never a dull moment.She has always been a friendly baby..having her moods very rarely.. like if she had just woken up or was really uncomfortable.But she just loved having people around her from a very young age…I remember taking her to the hospital at 5 days of age and she charmed,the nurses and technicians there,and not just because she was so tiny.. but because she actually cooed back at them.

Breast-feeding was tough,but before I knew it she mastered it. Each month,brought about something new..and we were more and more in awe of her. She is just a born charmer..and such an attention seeker.. that even at 6 months of age,she knew when she wasn’t the centre of every one’s attention and even now she starts whimpering,when she doesn’t get attention.

Then came solids,and she had a go at them too like a champ! Sure there are days,when she doesn’t even look at food. And she definitely has a it food or clothes..or colors. I think she favors pink .She loves some TV commercials and would not even blink when they are on. Same goes for the songs.She loves MUSIC.

She was a perfect angel,when all her grandparents visited.They arrived here with some apprehension-is our Grand-daughter going to start bawling the moment she sets her eyes on us? But,she absolutely adored her Nanu and Dadu-Dadi leaving them thrilled to bits. She charmed all the other relatives,with equal ease,its like she just carved a niche for herself in every one’s heart.She met her aunt for the first time at 9 months of age,when stranger anxiety was at the peak,but she clung to her like she had known her all her life and the very next day,she slept peacefully in her arm,during a car-ride.I was shocked to see,my clingy baby smile at me from her masi’s arms.

My baby girl,she’s perfect in every sense of the word..(knock on the wood) she managed to reach most of the developmental milestones before time or on time..and every single time ,my heart swelled up with pride. It didn’t matter that it was something as small as touching my face,or getting down from the bed on her own.. or if it was something big as walking or eating her own food. But,then I think,even if it weren’t for all these achievements,I would have still been so proud of her.. just because she is mine.. a part of me.The most perfect part of me.
One Year Old Aadya,enjoying her party

And if I thought that I was going to be take care of her,I was proved wrong.She started taking care of me,at one month’s age.One day,at dawn, a sleep deprived me,sat rocking her and I don’t know when I dozed off.Little while later,I heard a soft thud and woke up immediately and saw Aadya on the floor..she must have slipped out of my arms.DH woke up too and immediately took her away from me.How could I have dropped her.He was so upset,I was so miserable..What kind of a mother,just dozes off while her child slips out of her arms and falls down.I kept apologising to Aadya and to DH.DH didn’t want to listen..but Aadya, just wanted to be with mommy.. cuddling up and smiling at if telling me all was well and forgiven. This is the first time I have ever spoken of this..otherwise it was just a secret DH and I shared.
Having Aadya has made me feel like a super-human..I feel like I can do everything,I am emotionally stronger,since giving birth to her. Every time I look at her,I feel so blessed.
She has started saying her name now..”Aadya-Aadya” she says,pointing at the thing that she wants.”Aadya-Aadya”,she says, raising her arms up,meaning pick up Aadya!Suddenly,the name that we love so much has become sweeter.She is getting quicker on her feet and every time I turn,I seem to bump into her.
The soft thumps of little feet,sweet cries of Aadya-Aadya,anguished babble,wet sloppy kisses,a hug every few minutes…these were just the things missing in my world..The only things that make it perfect.
Sometimes,I just sit back and look at Aadya and DH,pretend talking on the toy phone,working on their own laptops(My sis gave her a baby laptop,for her birthday) and I feel like I am the luckiest woman on earth. And then,I rush in to join them,only to be greeted with smiles,one toothy,one warm,and I am engulfed in a big hug,while the tiny one cuddles up closer squirming and squishing till she is right in the middle-right where she belongs.

This one year,with Aadya has been a total bliss..and sometimes,I wonder that if there is a second baby,will I be able to love her/him with the same intensity..I don’t know.. She is the best thing that ever happened to us..
Love you baby girl..Thanks for coming into our life and brightening it up a million times more.You are our love,our life..And on your 1st birthday,I just want you to know,that you mean the world to me and your papa.. You make us proud.I hope you get all the best things in life always.I know,you will be one good gal,strong and resilient…The best thing that I like about you is how you never give up,you try and keep trying till you don’t get it it sucking water from a straw or holding the filled spoon and taking it to your mouth. We are just so proud of you..Love you darling and Happy Birthday!

Edited to Add- I have been writing this post in parts,so may be there is no continuity.but,its just all the thoughts swimming in my head 🙂

Coming up

One year Post and
The Birthday bash post!
Thanx for all the birthday wishes,everyone.Aadya has a bad case of spring allergies and so do I ..and so the two posts are still in drafts.