.. is so hard. My sister left this afternoon and I am so sad. All the excitement before some one’s arrival- that is good.. but when they leave, the space they leave behind, is just too overwhelming.
I was feeling sad since last 2-3 days,with each passing day, I knew the day of her departure was getting closer.But, I was not prepared for the emptiness,I felt,when I saw her wave one last time and disappear behind the security counter. And then,I couldn’t stop the tears.I just felt so lost… and tired. And all I want to do is be alone.Alone because I know no one understand what I am going through,right now.
On the drive home,I kept feeling that something is missing.When we were growing up, we would bicker at the first opportunity,some days continuing cold wars for days,together, but,we were always very close..We just never needed another friend,we were good enough for each other. The friends that we had were mostly common friends.And when we grew up, and had our own separate set of friends, even then, the last one hour after lights out,was reserved for catching up-whispered secrets, hushed conversations about crushes,requests for clothes and jewellery.I miss those days.
This one month that she was here with me,we remembered those days,so much..almost every thing had a memory associated with it.It felt nice to relive those moments.After ages, we shopped together and for once,we could both buy the same thing in different sizes -Almost every time that we go shopping together,there is one thing, that we both JUST LOVE! When we were living together, we didn’t buy same clothes, for the fear of being ridiculed.. but this time,we didn’t care and on certain occasions even more matching clothes. She helped me pick out some really nice accessories too.The girl really has an eye for such thing.
My baby sis- she is not a baby any more-she has grown up,really. She came and cleaned and reorganised my house..God knows,I needed help there.As Munchkin is getting busier,its getting so so difficult to manage and maintain the perfect house,that I want.. but,lil sis helped me tidy up in a jiffy! Only your sister can do that for you..and I am sure,I won’t hesitate to do the same for her.
This time,we had a big disagreement and that made us argue and fight..tears were shed and hugs were shared..For we knew this time,time is precious.. unlike earlier,when we could let the fights go on..we have grown..I guess or we just appreciate each other more.
I just wish,she takes back happy memories from the trip..:)
Its so funny,as I write this,my cheeks are drenched with tears and there is a small smile on my lips..God I miss her sooo much!I wish it was still yesterday.. or better still,I wish I was still a kid..given a chance,I would do things differently this time.
I don’t know,when I will see her next, after a year?I don’t know,when she will visit me next, will she be married or still single, how will it be when she is married? God! there are so many thoughts that are running in my mind right now.May be all this doesnt even make sense.
All I want to do is cry..like a baby and stomp my feet and say..”I want my sister,I want my sister”.
And she knows me so well, left me message from the airport-“Di Rona dhona matt karna,filmy style mein..” Sigh…That’s what sisters are for.Oh and I wish it was still yesterday!