She is but a baby…
…I need to remind myself.
Aadi is getting so advanced in most of the day-to-day things,that its easy to forget,that she is just a little girl,about to turn 3. And no I don’t mean it in the bragging way..I say it in the most matter-of-fact way.She understands our coded talks,she associated people and places,even if she has just met them once..
She started feeding herself,when she turned 10 months old.She was being fussy,when I was feeding her lunch and on her pediatrician’s advice,I started leaving the plate on her high-chair tray and she enjoyed eating on her own.Sometimes,now when she wants us to feed her,we get irritated..but then,realise,she is doing what a normal toddler would..and are grateful for the opportunity to baby her.
The reason for this post is something that happened today.I am trying to toilet-train her.She has been diaper-free for more than 6 months..both during the day and at night.But she still needs the diaper to go potty.I try to put her on the toilet almost every time,she asks for a diaper to go potty.Sometimes,I just give in,without a fight.The fact that she is going to start school once a week,next month..when she is going to be away from me,makes me want to hurry up with the last step of toilet training.
yesterday again I put her on the toilet and she just had to go..but for some reason,she is scared of going potty in the toilet.She started crying..not the whining,not the tantrum..but real crying like her heart was breaking and she couldn’t help it.I relented and put the diaper on and told her that she could have the diaper,but she had to stay in the bathroom.That brought about a fresh round of tears. But,she stayed in the bathroom and she cried some more,and called me after she finished.
I kept thinking about it..She needs her privacy to do her big job..she goes to an empty room and stays there till she is done.Or she hides in a corner of the living room,from where she can watch TV.I think it was being confined to a space not of her choice,is what made her upset.May be she likes the fact that she can choose,where to be and whom to keep out..But she likes this bathroom..Its nice and roomy..and when I say Roomy..it is.May be I should post a picture sometime.Anyway,she stayed in the bathroom,yesterday and I think something hit home.
Today,when she wanted to go potty,she asked me to take her to the toilet..on her own.I was surprised but,played cool.She sat on the toilet and tried to do her business.I mean she really tried..and then,looked at me and said,sadly,”I don’t know how to do it..Mommy,I am scared..” It broke my heart…It made me feel like a parent who had let down her child,by expecting too much,unreasonably.I picked her up,hugged her and told her,I was proud of her,for trying and we could try again,tomorrow. And she was happy.I put the diaper ON and left her in the bathroom.This time she didn’t cry,just asked me,”Why do I have to be in the bathroom?”,with a childish pout,that we have come to associate with her questions. I told her..”Because you go potty in the bathroom..” and she accepted it..”Ok,Mom..”
She stayed in the bathroom and called me when she was finished.Alls well in Aadyaland..atleast till the next time we try toilet-training again..but I had to write this post,to remind myself to be patient ,to not push her before she is ready.
I had to write this post to remind myself that she is just a baby..and thats the way she should be….