Parenting issues-Post 13
Its a 3 -day weekend this time and two days are already over.Where did the time go?
Today was quite eventful..DH and Aadi had a fight,LOL..yes,it seems funny to me,even as I read this..but,they had a fight and then,she ended up crying and then,I yelled at him and then,we ended up fighting.
This is the same thing that happenned last night.Somehow,everytime,I leave them alone..something happens and I hear her crying.It irritates me.I get mad at DH.My point is why does she cry,everytime I leave them alone.He gets mad at me,saying,I interfere when he is trying to discipline her.I dunno whats right or wrong.I just dont want her to be defiant and him to be angry.Sometimes its so difficult.
I know she cries easily,when he scolds her or even gives her a smack.I can yell at her all day,and she wouldn’t care..if she is being a brat,I plant a smack on her bottom or sometimes even give her a slap(and hate myself for it) but she doesn’t care.She gets upset and tells me so.But,when he does the same thing,she cries and screams.
He says,she does that because,she knows,I will come to her rescue..I ask him,why should he have to scold her in the first 2 mins that I am away..ALWAYS! If she is say,playing with the phone,I tell her no,if she still continues,I tell her,I will take it away,and then,take it away.She is prepared for the outcome.She protests..but settles.
His approach is- “Don’t touch the phone”,take it from her hand..and she screams her lungs out! She thrashes,he has to swat her legs/hands to make her stop,she screams more! I am tired of these ‘fights’ between the two of them..It upsets me..I sit there,feeling horrible about the whole thing and they are thick as thieves in a few minutes!I dunno what is the right approach.I have tried to make him understand..I have tried to make her listen..and now I dunno what to do.
DH is a great dad..he plays with her,takes care of her,brings her favorite treat every now and then..but he has an old school approach about discipline..or may be its because thats what he has seen,all his life.It was expected that he listen to his parents,as soon as the first word was said..My parents were the same too..atleast my mom was..it was expected that as soon as you are called,you answer and appear,but things are different now..this generation is so much more evolved..they have more distractions-the TV,the cellphones,the iPhones..My 3 year old plays games on the iPhone..its her father’s doing..my frowning,didn’t help.Now,she demands the iPhone,as soon as DH steps in..and if he is expecting a call or email,she throws a tantrum..Now,who should I blame?The adult who got her hooked or the child,who is behaving her age?
When I found out I was pregnant,I was at the doctor’s office.The doctor went out and the nurse came in started asking me questions..there were a thousand questions that she had to ask me..and my mind was swirling with thoughts.The whole thing was surreal..and I said to the nurse,”wow all this is too overwhelming..I can’t believe it that I am going to be a mom”..and you know what she said?She said,”Oh!getting pregnant is the easy bit..Now,starts the tough part..”And I didn’t believe her..I had waited long enough to get pregnant..and from then on everything was going to be easy..but no…Parenting is not easy..Its the one job,where you are always,second guessing yourself..sigh..I hope I can find a way,to either solve this problem or learn how to not interfere!