I refuse to be scared…
I was not going to write this here.. because I was absolutely not going to think about anything bad..but damn it! I can’t stop thinking.. and not even a single good thought is coming to my mind.So,I write.
When I was pregnant,I felt a certain little lump in the left abdominal region.I thought it could be the baby’s foot or something..
After the baby came out,the lump was still there,firm to touch..its getting a little painful to touch. My GP asked me to get an ultrasound done. And I did..first one guy did it,then he called his boss,who did it again.Then they asked me to wait another half an hour and did another scan.
I got back home and he called me up and said,I need to go back in again,the next day..for a day later scan.All I know is that its the kidney region.
I was OK with till the time,I didn’t get the call to go back the next day. Now,I am sore for the scan..and I can’t stop thinking bad things..I am trying to be brave and not be scared..But every time,I look at Babykins,looking at me and smiling,I feel like I am going to start crying.. Every time,I see Babushka..I want to hold her and hug her.. I really hope its something silly… I hope I don’t go crazy till Thursday.. that’s when I see my Dr. and that’s when I get my results.
Can I just ask you to please send me lots and lots of positive vibes?