Today would’ve been my mom’s 57th birthday.This morning when I woke up,I checked facebook only to find a photo of hers.My sister had used photoshop and added my mom’s picture to a group photo. OMG!I know it was photo-shopped..I know it was not real..but it was so nice to see my mom in the same frame as my husband and babies..and more importantly my dad.
Seeing that picture made me happy and yet so sad and filled my heart with so much yearning for all that could have been. Not a day goes by when I don’t wish for her to still be alive.In my mind,I go through the various scenarios,that would’ve panned out differently,if she was still here.
Oh dear…how I wish I could just talk to her,update her about the kids activities,tell her how they are driving me up the wall or confer about a new recipe or tell her about what SD said. I have spent most of the day feeling so choked up or crying,every time I looked at the picture..I wish I had a magic wand and I could just change things..Or At least if heaven had a phone,I could just call her and cry and then,she would just ask me to stop it or being a typical mom,ask me to grow up 🙂 And all would be fine.
But no..I don’t have a magic wand and heaven doesn’t have a phone..so I’ll just have to pick up the pieces of my broken heart and go on..meeting whatever challenges life throws at me,in the only way I know-head on with a big smile on my face..
Until next time…..