Category Archives: Bed-time
That’s what Aadi asks us,every evening.I don’t know,why…she started asking this to us,a couple of months back.I think we noticed the consistency,after I came back from India.
When we come home,after a day outside,she asks me/DH,”Is it my good day?”we thought/think she wants to know if she has been good…
Then yesterday,after we came back from the park,she asked again,”Is it my good day?”We said,”yes” and she replied,”Oh but I don’t like night-y.It is not my good night-y”I think she doesnt like night,because it means she has to sleep.
But,we have come to realise that,the Good day,means a lot to her.So,the day she sleeps without kicking a fuss,we tell her in the morning,”Its your good day.. you slept early”..She wakes up fresh and feels happy.I can tell from the first cuddle,that it going to be a good day.
We are trying to follow a routine,working out timings and sticking to it,on most days.I know that to establish a routine,consistency and patience are required but,at the end of a long day,they are the last things on your mind.
Here’s what I am trying to follow-
9.00-9.30 am- wake her up and cuddle time.
9.30 am- brush her teeth,followed by milk.
3.00- nap time or rest time.She has to stay in the bedroom..rest..no talking,I let her look at her books..but I dont read to her that time.If she is tired,she dozes off.
4.30 – snack
after snack-we have a craft session or gardening or she plays outside in the backyard,all this while I finish cooking.
6.30- Park or walk,depending on how busy the park is.
7.30-8.00- bath,followed by dinner.
between 8.30 and 9.00-We start bed time.
Somedays,are good days and some days are bad days..On good days,she is fast asleep in less than an hour..on bad days, she doesn’t sleep for hours..But,she is beginning to understand the routine and asks in advance,if after the walk,she is going to do Nai-Nai..or if after nai-nai and dinner,can she not sleep?LOL!
The cutest is..when I serve her dinner,after her bath,she asks,”can I please watch TV for sometime..and then,I will sleep.”
And today,she actually,told me,”Look Mom,its night-y..the moon is here,he is saying goodnight na”.
So,far I am happy..I still get frustrated..but I know we’ll get there.We cut down on our weekend outings..we let her stay up longer on saturday night,but made sure,we followed the same routine on Sunday evening.Yesterday she was up till 12.00.She was in bed,but just kept fussing.Today,after the first 45 minute,I told her,I dont want to talk..she chooses to either sleep or stay in the dark room.She kept whining..I sat with her,she still kept asking for light.I turned on the closet light and told her the next time,she whines,i’ll have to send her outside.Then,both DH and I kissed her g’nite and we went to the living room.We told her,we’d check on her if she kept quite.DH checked first time,she was still awake..I checked again,after 10 minutes,she was facing the wall. 20 minutes later,she was fast asleep. I feel bad for being strict ..and rude,with her..she is but a little girl..but I know,in the long run,it will do her and all of us,good.
Oh God,give me strength to stay firm,in front of her tearful face.
Oh God,Please let her go to sleep,without fuss,each night.And please fill her dreams with happy things and the moon and the stars.
Oh and speaking of stars,we tried to reward her with stars..on the calendar-for each tear-free day and for each tantrum-filled day,we’d mark a cross.Now,the little missy,marks a cross for her father,when he scolds her..or a star for him,when he comes home and takes her to the park.
Me?I get a star when she likes what I cook for her..somehow,my scoldings dont fetch me crosses..may be they dont bother her as much as her dad’s.Oh well..its alright I guess..
I am still trying to post,each day,even if NaBloPoMo is over..lets see..how long it lasts.
Before I begin this post,a slight digression-I think I am going through a serious writer’s block..or my brain is all spent,after a month and half of house-guests.I have been meaning to write this post for almost a week now..but..just didn’t feel upto it.Until today,I realised,that I am forgetting details and there is no more dilly-dallying.And as I sit here typing,Aadya is busy washing the coffee table!Phew..Saved the table.End of Digression.
Lets start at the very beginning..When we moved to Australia..somewhere between our departure from Texas and arrival at Melbourne and all the travel in between,Aadya moved into our bed and she was staying put.
And frankly,the luxury of cuddling up with the little warm body,was too much to give up.But over the past few weeks,I think after her grand-parents arrived,Aadya had become too clingy.Clinging to me,all the time..and more so in bed.She was almost hanging by my neck..clutching my night-shirt,waking up,even if I turned.God forbid,if I had to go to the toilet,she would sit up and cry,till I didn’t get back in bed.We were all beginning to get sleep-deprived.But S was still not ready to move her out..and I didn’t want to be blessed with the ILs ire either.So we waited.
And then,last week we spent a day at a friend’s place.And there she slept in the spare single bed,all by herself…and she looked so comfortable…I decided to try it .
The next day,Friday,I asked Aadya,if we should set up her room.And if she would help me.She was excited..”Help” is the magic word around here!So,we cleared out all her toys and moved it to the other room;Vaccumed the carpet,polished the window sills and it was time to move the bed.And Pipette was Super excited about the bed.When we bought it,we told her,it was her bed.And everytime,one of our house-guests slept on it..she made it a point to tell them that it was her bed.
So,we moved the bed and Aadi grabbed a pillow,from our room and announced excitedly,”My Noom…My bed,Big Bed!” I asked her if she would like to sleep there and she said yes. I put her down for a nap there.Now comes the Happy Dreams part.
The regulars of this blog and my old blog know that the Pipette’s bedtime is a tiresome routine..not something I look forward to. So,I was constantly trying something..reading the stories over and over again..I know no toddler,ever has enough of stories.It was the crying at bedtime that drove me nuts.So,one night,I just said,”If you cry,you’ll get nightmares..But if you do hasi-hasi(laugh) and sleep,you will get Happy Dreams!” Dreams? she asked..and I went ahead and painted a color picture with words..of her going out to play in big park,where she would meet all her friends ..of a field full of colorful balloons..of a nice birthday party with lots of candy and cakes … of long car rides to wonderland..and of playing with her disney friends.
And before I knew it,she was fast asleep.Now,we look forward to Happy dreams..somedays we talk about our day,some day,we just imagine.So now back to the big move to the big bed.
Day 1- Bath,dinner,Milk,story ,followed by happy dreams and lights off. Aadya woke up at 3.00 am,then at 5.00 am.I dozed off next to her the second time.
Day 2- We had dinner out and came back by 10.00 pm.Massage,Milk,story,followed by happy dreams and lights off.woke up at 3.00 AM and 5.00 AM.I just patted her and went back to our bed.
Day 3- Bath,Dinner,Milk,story,followed by Happy dreams.I came to my bed at 1.00.Next time,I woke up at 4.00,feeling cold,IN Aadya’s bed.When I got there,No Idea!I went back to bed.Aadya slept peacefully.
Day 4-Bath,Dinner,Milk,story-This time its Dad’s turn to do the bed-time routine. 1 hour and still Aadya is running in and out of the room.Finally,we had to trade places…and she was fast asleep in 10 minutes.She didn’t wake up at night.Got up in the morning,drank her milk and came and gave me her empty bottle.
Day 5- Dinner,Bath,Story-Happy dreams,followed by long story time.Dad’s turn again.This time,he left her in bed and said he will be back in 2 mins if she keeps her eyes closed..this went on for 20 minutes and then she dozed off.She slept through the night.
Day 6- Dinner,Bath,story,Milk,Dreams,some more milk,Last time Susu,finally,I left her in bed,followed S’s method,kissed her good night Princess..Hugs and cuddles and 20 minutes later,Princess was fast asleep.She slept through the night.
Aadya loves her new Noom(room) and her big bed. This is a big move for all of us and I am so glad,its going tearlessly ..(anti-jinx).
Speaking of big moves by little girls,my little girl is almost toilet-trained,staying dry at nights and going to the toilet through out the day.The only hitch is she still needs a diaper to poop.One or two times,that she pooped in the pot ,she started crying..like she lost something precious or like she’s committed a big crime.But,its alright…she’ll get there.Slow and steady is the name of the game.
On the home front,I am still struggling to bring the house back to order…I am T-I-R-E-D of cooking….I cooked so much in the last month and half….I am exhausted!Aadya and I were very sick for over 2 weeks and I can still feel the weakness.But,we are finally catching up with friends and each other..:),on our reading and PS3…and our lazing around.
Thats all from our end..Hope you have been good..:) Hopefully you haven’t given up on me..and will be back for more.
Here’s the Pipette at Federation Square-
Every child has a quirky sleeping habit.I shouldn’t call it quirky..let me rephrase that-Every child has a special way to relax at nap-times and bed-times.Some need their blankets,some need their dolls,while some others need their bottles or blinkies.My friend Pooh’s son,Li’l A used to bite her T-shirt ,when he was sleepy.My Aadya’s comfort object is my arm,the right one from elbow down.Yes,you read it correctly.
Aadya needs to feel my skin..my hand is her preferred one.Sometimes face..though,its rare now.She loves the hand more.I realised it on the flight to Melbourne.Aadya was having a hard time,falling asleep.She was very sleepy,but at the same time,very restless..we kept wondering what was wrong..Everytime she would whine,she would look at my hand with a pained expression..and the “why are you doing this to me” look was sent my way.I thought may be she was uncomfortable because of my shirt..I rolled up the sleeve..and she promptly fell asleep with a smile..:)
Well,whatever makes you happy baby.
So,that sort of became our regular sleep pattern,she would feel up my hand..I would smooth her back..and she would be fast asleep in no time.
Now,for the last couple days,she has become Ms.Touch-me-not.So,she still wants to feel my hand and elbow,at bedtime,but,Sanj or I cannot touch her.If so much as a finger touches her,she screams..”Nooooooo”.So I have taken to sleeping,like a log..with my hands folded on my chest. All is well in her world..she sleeps peacefully.(anti-jinx)
Speaking of peace,she was the noisiest kid,in the post-office yesterday.I had to buy some envelopes and write addresses,on them.And she was bored stiff.So,she decided to entertain herself,by calling me,LOUDLY! “Mumma..Mummaaaaa,Mimi mimii..mimmiiiiiiii..mimiiiiiiiiiiiiii” every 2 seconds!!!! It was a nice day,after 3 lousy days,so all the old people were out..and most of them,chose to go to the post-office.Needless,to say,I had to face so many pointed glares..and I am sure,they would have all heaved a collective sigh of relief,when we left.
Me,finally,I have started waking up early,to enjoy,some peace and quiet,before the madness begins.(Dad,I hope you are happy now!!!)
After I wrote,yesterday,about how Aadya went to bed herself,over the weekend..my nightmare began.
She refuses to sleep again.Last week,we had an episode with the neighbour!Bed-times with Aadya are loud,angry,tearful,you name it.. all the terrible things,put together.Add a sick Aadya to that equation and all this increases 10 folds!!!
She was being a complete brat at bedtime..kicking,screaming,pinching.Sometimes I wonder,if a Devil takes over,my sweet child at night.She pulls her Papa’s hair..bursts in loud screaming cries,starting with “Ohhh Maaaaaaaaaaaa”…and gets on our nerves. We would snap at each other,for making her cry,snap at her for screaming..and it went on.Then,the neighbour tapped on the wall.And we knew,she had had enough.I carried Aadya all night..for some reason,she couldn’t be calmed that night.somewhere,down the night,I realised that she was sick and sure enough next morning,the doctor confirmed that she had the croup.
I left a note for the neighbour,apologising,explaining how Aadya was sick.She came by and explained on her part too.But,all this has left me feeling pretty awkward and over the edge. I try to keep Aadya as quiet as possible at nights..but,I don’t know,if she gets super-loud/cranky at nights or if it feels that way!
Anyway,the last week when she was sick,I would give her dinner,then her medicine,massage,read a book,she would drink her milk and she would be fast asleep.Now,since yesterday,she started feeling better or so,I thought.We stayed in most weekend,so as to not tire her.we took her to the library and play area,and then for a walk.By 7.00pm,she was sleepy.I gave her dinner,read her book.Skipped the massage,because,she was too sleepy and took her to the bedroom.It was 7.45 then.
She started singing first,I pretended to be asleep.Then,slowly the twisting and turning.She is co-sleeping now.And wants to sleep on my arm.its fine to begin with,but gets painful,when the twisting and turning starts.I don’t mind,if its just for finding a comfortable position..but,it just doesn’t stop.I still pretended to sleep.But,after a while,the pain takes over and irritation starts creeping in and then,the pretending has to stop.That’s what happened last night too.
At around 8.30,I gave up and came out to the living room.She followed me.Then,she told me that she wants to do Noni..and Shoyi(Aadya-speak for sleep).OK,I tried again.Again,the same drama.I got mad and came outside again.Now,it was 9.30.after a while,again the same thing.I refused to go inside with her.She sat down on the living room floor and HOWLED!She refused to be pacified by Sanj..and wanted only me to hold her.As upset,tired as I was…repeated cries of Mimi mimi are enough to wreak havoc,in one’s heart and head!I picked her up yet again..This time,I just sat on the couch,reading my book.She just kept hugging me and slept.I really don’t know..why or what caused her to fall asleep then. May be she was tired from all the drama..God knows,I was.At one point,I told Sanj,that I was too tired and felt like I was getting depressed.He took her from me,but she kept whining to come back to me.
Anywho,my peace did not last for long.She woke up again at 3.1-3.30am,crying.First said No for dudu,then yes,then asked for Wotto(water),then wanted to remove her shirt,then,we changed her diaper,then,she wanted the light ON,then the light OFF,then,the FAN was interesting,then,my eyes had to be pinched open,then,she wanted to put on her shirt again..Phew,Tired OF READING??? Imagine,I had to go through it.AT 3 FREAKING AM!!! and the caps lock is intentional!
I just stopped answering her at some point..and rolled away from her. I don’t know what time she/I slept.Sanj WOKE me up at 6.00,asking me where Aadya was! Well,where would she be…somewhere on the bed,buried in the covers.
I am fairly patient with her,and him..if I may say so myself.But,its at times like this ,when I just want to leave everything and everyone and go away somewhere.Its not the anger and irritation that bothers me,its the Unmotherly thoughts,that I get of..leaving her somewhere,or leaving them both here,while I go away,or covering her mouth with my hand,when the howling starts..or just going and jumping off the cliff,that scares me and bothers me.
This morning,the crying and tantrums started the moment we got out of bed.First,she wanted me to lie in bed for some more time.Then,she wanted my brush,then,something else..and so on.Now,the brat is finally in bed…Today,I had to step outside twice,to get away from her screaming and taking a deep breath.I refused to lie down with her at nap time…after an hour or so,of her fighting,and me not responding,she finally fell asleep.All I did was sit next to the bed.A small victory,I just wish,it didn’t come after so many tears.
All you wise ones,Please help me out here…before I go and kill myself!
OH!!!AND she is not even two yet…Please tell me,things get better!
You turn 20 months ‘young’ today.And these 20 months with you have been a roller coaster of fun,sickness,joy,frustration(both yours and ours),but whatever it is,its been an experience of a lifetime.
You want to be a big girl,and do things like your mimi and then,when we ask you to behave,and be a big girl,you say you are a babee.You want to do everything yourself,from eating to dressing up.You now,tell me what you want to eat,your favorite being Bhaatu(rice)-really Aadi,you want to eat your Bhaatu,as soon as you wake up.And whatever it is that you are eating,you need a poonsh(spoon),to eat it with.
I am amazed at what all you know,and I am not saying this,because,I am your mother.I like the way you can tell,which clothes are mine and which are your Papa’s.And you never tire of telling me,that,even if you see the same shirt 10 times in a day,you consider it your responsibility to tell me that its Papa’s. What I don’t understand,is how you recognise,the clothes that you haven’t seen either of us wear?
Aaduli,you are a keen observer and a quick learner too.You had figured out how to slip your arm out of your t-shirt,a couple of months back.And like the other fashionista ,you like slipping just one arm,out.Some fashion-statement,you toddlers are making.Anyway,now,you have learned how to put on your own socks too.And since the first successful attempt,two weeks back, you have been trying on socks of all shapes and sizes!Speaking of clothes,what is it about sleeping topless,that appeals to you?Since the last week or so,the only way,you can get comfortable at bedtime is,if you take off your shirt.And again,when we are speaking of clothes,you want to chose your own outfit,every time..perfect with mismatched socks and matching shoes!Your obsession with shoes continues and now your favorite thing is toks,that’s what you call your socks.
Your new favorite thing to do is,WALK!!and if you want me or Papa to go somewhere with you,you ask us to WALK!!You don’t like sitting in your stroller as much as you used to-these days,you get bored of sitting,while I walk and then,you want to walk too.Your newest ambition is to learn to open the restraint belts,of your stroller and car-seat. Every time I buckle you in,you lean over and try to figure out what I am doing,and practice at the first chance,you get.
As far as talking is concerned,you are saying a lot of words..its like everyday,you have a list of new words,learned.You can very effectively communicate,what you want,using,signs and words.Though sometimes,I feel that you use signing,more than words,but your Papa and all others around me reassure me,its because of the big move.I hope that’s what it is..I don’t want to pressurise you,but,start using your words,fast,little one.
And lastly,sweetheart,you need to sleep,to be fresh,through out the day and you need to stop resisting sleep.For,if you want your Mimi to be Sane,you need to stop trying her patience at bed-time!!!You only sleep,if I am lying down next to you.Though,the funny part is,when you are really sleepy,you don’t want me to touch you,but you want to touch my face and hands.strange ways,your mind works in.
These days,you are enjoying your new found independence..you want to do almost everything yourself..from changing your diapy,to using the wipes,to brushing your teeth,changing your clothes,eating,carrying your plate..everything.The only thing that you needed me for is sleep.And yesterday nite,you surprised us..You went into the dark bedroom and lay down on the bed,all by yourself,pulled the covers over yourself and called me only when you wanted you dudu.My heart welled up..My baby is all grown up.I still lay down next to you,tried to pat you,and you told me,”No No,Mamma”…My heart swell and got crushed all at the same time and as I was lying there,next to you,feeling sad,that my baby is not a baby anymore,you rolled over,and snuggled close to me..That just tells me,alls not lost.:)
Another few months and you will be 2..though,you are already showing us,what terrible twos are going to be like.But all said and done,I am sure,we’ll get through that,sometimes patiently,sometimes not so patiently,sometimes happily,sometimes,not-so-happily…
Just remember,even though at times,Mimi gets upset,irritated,angry..she loves you a lot and so does your Papa….
Love you,Babychino ..love you,my choco-pie!!
Muaah..And please sleep well!!
Whoever meets us,sees Aadya,comments on how she is a mini-me.Her actions,the way she cocks her head to a side,the way she smiles,her looks, her cheeks,her nose..all me..But…her heart belongs to her Papa.
We were out grocery shopping and Sanj was carrying her.He wanted to go outside to get a shopping cart,so I offered to carry Aadya..And she pushed me away. Huh?? My baby?when did she grow up so much…she pushed me away..And people were looking too.I gathered the pieces of my broken heart and walked around the store,waiting for them to come back with the cart.They came back and she had this silly grin on her face,as if teasing me,taunting me,”Look mumma,I got you!!”
So,anyway,I leaned forward to kiss her and she turned her face.I thought she was just distracted ..I tried again,and she said No! And then Sanj came from behind me,she gave him a smile and called him.He asked her for a kissie and she gave him Kichie..I tried again,no luck again.In fact every time,I asked her for kissie,she would look away and then,with a naughty smile,call her Papa to give him a kiss.
We came home and after putting the groceries away, took her to the bedroom,to put her to sleep.She was drinking her bed-time dudu,we were talking and Sanj,reached over and gave me a kiss.And this little miss, got up like an angry tigress,snarled at me,hugged her Papa tight and closed her eyes tight. If I so much as tried talking to him,she would get upset and glare at me.I mean what did I do??What?
Anyway,its besides the point that she came to me,after he had fallen asleep.Yeah whatever.
Its true,all girls are daddy’s .I was one,am still one..So,I guess its only fair,my little girl is her daddy’s too!
Here’s a song for all the daddy’s girls,out there:
Butterfly kisses by Bob Carlisle
BTW,As for our names- Ms.Pipette started calling me Mimi when she was 7-8 months old and Bubba is what she calls,her dad..So,we are Mimi and Bubba..:D
That’s right..its a battle..and not one to be taken lightly.
Last few months have been so busy and crazy.We were travelling, catching up with friends, packing to move to Australia and so,our schedules have been erratic.Add to that a very social little girl and it means chaos everywhere.
She refused to go to sleep till the last person in the house was out flat. And in these past crazy months,slowly, sometimes,out of sheer lack of energy and sometimes,out of pure laziness, we let Aadya sleep in our bed..and before we could even blink,she became a permanent fixture in our bed. And that’s OK, its nice cuddling up with her, but what’s not OK is that she refuses to sleep,till we are awake. Now, no little body has so much energy to keep up with two adults,after being Super active all day long!
Our routine of last few days has been- quick meet and greet when Papa comes home from work,followed by a rushed dinner,long bath for Ms.Aadya,followed by her tucking in.Now, tucking her in means, all the lights have to be turned off, we have to lie down next to her, pretend like we are fast asleep and even then, madame,takes her own sweet time to fall asleep.First we are poked in the eyes and noses and then when we don’t wake up,there is some singing,followed by story telling,all done by Aadya herself-remember,we are pretending to be asleep. After a long long time,she falls asleep.By then, we are really truly sleeping.Another day gone by and we wouldn’t have spoken.
I am not kidding-Sanj joined a new job and we haven’t had a chance to talk about it. We haven’t had any couple time in forever!!! So,today,I declared war! I had decided..I am going to re-train her to sleep,on her own. I repeated her routine as it was, before,we er…things got crazy. I gave her dinner at 8:00, followed by a quick wash,then nice relaxing massage with her lotion,and donned her jammies. Then we said,nite-nite to her Papa, and her toys and went to bed,with a warm bottle of dudu and goldilocks book.
Dudu was downed,book was read,and then she rubbed her eyes,till then,we were on track. I thought to myself,wow she is going to sleep now.I started patting her.Till then we were on track.Then,I don’t know what happened,she was suddenly so fresh …like she had never been sleepy at all.But that wasn’t possible.She was sleepy, her eyes were watering,she had missed her nap.. Then,Papaa was asked to take over.But no,she wanted both of us there…like her captives.Like she doesn’t want us to have fun while she sleeps. So,I was pestered and tempted with baby cuddles and sweet smiles and “shoieees” till I finally gave in and went and lay down next to her.
And the moment I got in bed, the mischief started again..jumping,bumping her head into us…singing,talking.I threatened to go out.. and I was dared..”Mumma is going to go out,Aadi”..”yeah”..and out I went, and “Noooo Noooooo,aaja aaja”said the brat! Sanj almost smothered himself with his pillow,trying to hide his grin.Anyway, since the threat didn’t work,there was yelling followed by smacking. But it just made her more stubborn. Like she wanted to defy me. Like she knew,it was getting my goat and she was enjoying that. There was a lot of crying and loud crying at that too,because at some point of time,I was really mad and suggested that she get out of the bedroom! Yeah I know she is just a little girl!!
By now,Sanj had given up on his two girls- one not trying to sleep and the other trying to not sleep. Yes,I had made up my mind..I was not going to fall asleep today.anyway, after 4 long hours, finally she fell asleep.And before she did,I did doze off. But at the end of those four hours I was tired and hungry. I sneaked out of bed and guilt kept nagging at the back of my mind. I don’t like hitting Aadya, nor do I like it when she cries. And today was the limit of everything.. her mischief,her screaming and crying, my yelling, my smacking and most of all my patience.As I sit here, writing this, I know, that I didn’t give into her..but, is it really worth all the crying?At the same time,I do want to develop good sleeping habits for her. I really dint like the current sleeping arrangement.
I remember when I was growing up, 9.00 pm was bedtime and even if there were visitors, we were given our marching orders. 5 minutes to 9.00, we had to say our good-nights, brush our teeth and at sharp nine pm,lights out. Now, if only I could remember when we started doing that.I know the poor child has been through a lot of changes and I need to be patient,but come on 4 hours is too much ..even for a saint.I am totally at my wits ends..I will keep updating,the battle of bedtimes…in the meantime,if you have a magic wand to make my troubles, go away,please wave it this way!