Category Archives: Me
If home is where the heart is,I have left pieces of my heart,in all the places that I have lived at.My memories of this world,start in Lakheri,a small town in Rajasthan.My dad grew up there and joined the cement factory,as a chemist.Its the one place he considers home..and I spent the first 9 years of my life,there.
When I went to India,in October,2009..dad was really excited about taking Aadi to see his hometown and I agreed.I am in love with the place.This trip really was about reconnecting with the roots.
So on 3rd Dec,we left for Lakheri(LKE) by the night train.We got to the Bandra terminus at 10PM and guess what the train is running more than 3 hours late.Killing 3 hours at home or even in the train or at the airport is alright..but at a crowded railway platform with a toddler in tow..nightmare!
Fortunately,she didn’t think that way..she thought,it was just the place to run away and hide from mom and masi..giving them mini-panic attacks,every 5 minutes.My sister suggested,we go and get some munchies for her,to keep her occupied.But,my dad had disappeared..and we were stuck,gaurding the luggage.Oh and not to mention,bear all the lewd stares..It was sickening.
Dad just has to disappear everytime,we are on the railway station and everytime the train stops at a station,he has to get down and look around.No wonder,he doesn’t like travelling by local trains.Anyway,after 3-4 calls,from sis,and threats of abandoning the luggage,he came back,with water and VadaPav.We then,went and got some munchies for Aadi.Somehow the 3 hours passed and the train arrived.We got in,found our seats.Only 2 seats were confirmed and 1 was on wait-list.Dad spoke to the TC and we got the third berth after around 6 AM.This was Aadi’s first train journey..and my dad booked the tickets atleast one and half month in advance..and all the trains were packed..we managed to get this reservation in 2nd AC.
Ohh..in front of us,was a couple,who couldn’t keep their hands off each other and insisted on doing it on the lower berth.I am not a big fan of PDA,but I feel,to each its own..but it just got very embarassing..there was my dad,another old couple,my sis and aadi..and 1 more guy!And the funny thing is,they had a top berth..why not use that for your hanky-panky?Anyway,thank God they got off at 9 AM…I woke up to drink some water at 7 AM and they were ‘at it’ loudly! I almost gagged!
The rest of the journey was quiet uneventful..Only my sister,had to sleep on the floor,till 6 AM.That and Aadi insisted on using the toilet!This girl,refused to use the clean toilet at my ILs and wanted to use the dirty Central Railway toilets!My heart was running faster than the train,everytime I took her to the toilet,because the door of the compartment was always open!
We reached LKE at 3.30 pm and someone had come to pick us from the station.My dad and his family is very loved and respected in LKE.When we were younger,we used to call ourselves,’Princess’ of LKE.So,this ‘uncle R'(everybody is uncle,na) walked past my sister..ignored me,struggling with my bag and a clumpsy Aadi,insisting on pulling a bag,twice her size and went up to my dad,did the bent Namaste to him,and took the bag from him and walked off.Dad went with him,getting updates about everything under the sun..Sis rolled her eyes,and mouthed “Raja ji”..(My dad is like the uncrowned prince there!) .
While in the train,I felt an Asthma attack coming on,but,didn’t pay too much attention.We had to climb up the huge staircase on the platform and I had to stop twice..I climbed up and had to sit down on the bridge before going forward.We got home..and I couldn’t even go from one room to another without huffing and puffing.Uncle R was summoned again and he and aunty M took me to the hospital.Aunty M lives in and takes care of my dad’s ancestral home.Our family and hers have known each other for more than 3 generations and she is a very important part of our family now.
To be Continued
I am in a mood to blog today and I want to write something non-baby.Some days I feel,my whole life is revolving around Aadya..and I love it..OK that’s all I am going to write about her.
So, last couple days have been really eventful- happy or not,I will tell you in a bit.
I have been dealing with some health-related issues and that has left me feeling rather low. I am just coming to terms with the situation and hoping things start to look up soon. But seeing doctors,waiting for reports and then waiting to get appointments is tiring.And on the whole,I am really tired.The house is a mess-I tidy up,then,it gets messy and I am just too tired to pick up again.Some days,even cooking seems like a big chore too.There is no energy for socialising too,so other than the really unavoidable ones,I have been keeping a low profile.. Hopefully things will get better from here on.
I spent quite a few days moping over my health but its just not me to keep moping..There is always something that makes me want to get up and take charge! Getting doctors and specialists appointments unless you are pregnant or unless its an emergency or unless you are just back from the ER is so tough. I waited 2 months to see a specialist,only for her to refer me to a super-specialist,who doesn’t have any openings for new patients for at least 2 and half months from now.It is nerve-wracking,I tell you,this waiting.You know there is a problem..you have google for support and ideas..you talk to people you know,who might have some ideas for you.. but you are still at a loss,till you don’t get the final verdict from the doctor!Gahh!!
Then,there is a big move on the cards..and this time,it seems like the right thing. Sanj’s assignment officially ends on August 28th and anytime after that,we would be boarding the flight to leave Dallas. Dallas bloggers ,how about having a meet before that? I had booked my tickets to Seattle for mid September..now I don’t know if I will be able to take that trip..But somehow the uncertainty that came with this new development doesn’t seem overwhelming.May be because we had made up our minds to move,even before this announcement came through. Some time in June,we had decided that we wanted to go back to India,when our visa expired..so may be that why we are mentally ready for this change.
Now,I need to start organising our stuff- what to throw,what to donate/give away,what to take along,what to ship ahead of time.Oh and there is this question of destination.We don’t have any idea about destination yet..so,can’t start on the apartment search.That’s always the first on my list,every time we move.But this time,that will have to wait. The sorting of the stuff will take a long time. I have a complete section of the garage packed with boxes and trash bags,full of stuff. They need to be unpacked,checked through and repacked. I know I can do it during the day,when Sanj takes the car out, but its too hot in there. And its not such a good idea to let Aadya run around when I open the boxes.There will be more things on the floor than in the boxes,if madam is around.So, may be that needs to be done on the weekend. I guess things will pick up only when,we have a final date and destination for the move..till then,I should at least try to collect the odds and ends scattered around in the apartment.
This time,I am really excited to move ..if only I had the energy to keep up with the excitement.Funny, now when I think,I have had really low energy levels,around the last two moves..the first was from Chicago to Phoenix,when I was pregnant..and the next was from Phoenix to Dallas-when I was sleep deprived.. and this time I am just sick.But there is still time for the actual move and by then,I am sure I will be fine. Oh and BTW, those are just two of the six moves we made in the less than 4 years.
And now,since I have decided to write about non-baby stuff,I am going to steal this tag from , Cee Kay. No one remembered to tag me * sulk*
Here’s the Book tag:
Pick up the nearest book.
Open to page 123.Find the fifth sentence.
Post the next three sentences.
Tag five people, and acknowledge the person who tagged you .
I am currently reading “Sweet Dreams at the Goodnight Motel” by Curtiss Ann Matlock.
Here’s what I have :
“But her money was gone,all that she had saved out,little by little,for the past six months of serving Krispy Kremes.The money that would get her to the doctor,that would get her somewhere if Denny left her.
Denny had known about it all along.”
OK,now I am tempted to flip through the pages and reach page 123. I am still on page 94 and have no clue..who this woman is and who this Denny is!!
As for tagging and acknowledging..remember I am sulking..No one tagged me..*sulk sulk*
Ha! and even in this non-baby post,I managed to mention Aadya 4 times!!Oh what the heck,I spend every waking second of my day with her.. so,its OK..Na?
First of all,I want to say thank you to all those of you,who took the time to vote and even suggest a new name.Thank you!
And now,where was I? Well,I was getting settled in the new apartment!But could that have stopped me from blogging?NO! But a dead internet connection did!And I missed posting on my blog’s birthday!
MY SUNSHINE turned 1 on February 27th.I started it when I was heavily pregnant with Aadya.This blog has been my link to sanity for the last 1 year and it also helped me make some new friends. And more than anything else,I am happy that I am still as addicted to blogging as I was the day I started the blog.
You can read my first post here
This is what I was going to post to mark the first birthday of my blog-I had done a post on DMC and the theme for february was write a letter to yourself-A real honest to goodness love letter about what a wonderful mother you are.Here goes-
It was my birthday on the 19th of February and I had decided to write a small note to myself,telling me how I was doing a good job.That was going to be my gift to myself-to read when I am especially low.So,when I saw the two themes for this month,I knew immediately,what I was going to do.So,here’s my love letter to myself!
So, you are a mom now..sometimes I still can’t believe it..for in my mind’s eye-I still see you as a little girl-sometimes you are just a rebellious teenager,the tomboy who loved babies.That was probably the only thing girlie about you! And now-Look at you! You have a little girl of your own.WOW!
Your baby-it reminds of those months when you were so tensed and desperate to have a baby,the countless pregnancy test strips you used and the battery of tests you went through anxiously,not once but three times.I remember your disappointment and depression but more than that I remember how after every “negative”pregnancy test,you would smile and think.. OH.. so there is still a next time. All your friends were getting pregnant and almost always you were one of the first few to know the news.I really admire you for always being happy for them..You were never ever envious.I was and am really proud of you for that! And may be that’s why you were blessed with this miracle called Aadya.
The day you heard those magical words -“You are PREGNANT”-I knew you were in for something big!What I didn’t know was how well you would change to new situation.You,who always promptly forgot to take her medicine,the day after you visited a doctor,was suddenly so diligent about those progesterone supplements that you had to take for the whole of first trimester-you even remembered to take you prenatal vitamins.And what you did with your diet to keep your sugars in control after finding out about gestational diabetes-awesome!You did well!Every time you were feeling low,you would come out of it.thinking its all for the baby,its worth it! My dear girl,you were already a mom,even before having a baby.
Though I thought it was weird at the time,but you were so nonchalant about the possibility of having a C-section.Now I think it was really brave of you,for so many have balked at just the mere mention of the C word. And it was out of sheer determination that you walked from your room,to the nursery,to see your baby just minutes after getting the IV and catheter out.But,I need to make sure everything is OK,you said.
Breastfeeding presented another challenge and you hit it head on! There again,I was pleasantly surprised.You just didn’t give up. Even after having been told by the Lactation consultant,that may be its not meant to be,you kept trying and trying and you succeeded.If Aadya is a breast-fed baby today,its all because of your persistence.She cried,you cried,S got all upset-every 3 hours was a fresh start but you kept at it.I cannot praise you enough here.I am so proud of you !
You started giving her massages,when she was just 6 days old-forgetting about your own discomfort and pain from the surgery-you didn’t want her to miss out on any pampering,just because she is not in India surrounded by a houseful of relatives.You wanted to do everything for her yourself,even if you were exhausted beyond belief.”But no one else can do what a mom can” is what you said..and I agree with you on this one.And Aadya could hold her head up at one month old was reward enough for you! I admire you for having forgotten your own pain,to do something to comfort her. I am really proud of you for putting up a brave front when S fell sick and being strong for him and little Aadya.
When you had to take a decision about whether or not to take your 17day old baby to get her ECG done,you decided instantly,that its better to get it checked than procrastinate.You who would wait forever before deciding to go to a doctor-Good show!This new attitude of yours makes me happy.
The first time Aadya started throwing up violently and you guys had to rush her to ER, you were so calm and collected.Even when Aadya looked up at you and moaned and I know,that moment your heart broke into a million tiny pieces,but you held back tears,held her close and even managed to tell everything to the doctor without forgetting even the tiniest details. I guess that’s what being is mom is…and I must tell you,you are doing a good job.
She is thriving,she is a happy baby(knock on the wood) and she is smart and confident too.Surely that means something.Surely you are doing something right.Her dad is a big part of her life but he knows and agrees that you are one cool Mamma!Every time she says Mamma,I know your heart swells up with pride…and listen try not to worry,the separation anxiety will slowly go away- that doesn’t mean that you are doing something wrong.Its a phase,so honey,please don’t take it personally.
Ohh and its OK to lose your head sometimes… don’t feel guilty every time you get angry-You are a mom but you are human too…And don’t feel guilty every time,she cries when you stop her from doing something…its OK,its for her own good.After all you are the first one who rushes to pick up and hug her,when she needs something or is hurt. For all the times that you are strict with Aadya,for all the times you stop her from doing something and she breaks into tears,and you hold back your tears- Good job! For I know its not easy for you to not break into tears.Just keep up the good work..And if you need a breather,crazy old me is always around.
You are a great mom, be good, take care of Aadya and her papa but don’t forget to take care of yourself!
Love and hugs,
Cross-posted at DMC
I am really big on occasions..birthdays,anniversaries and the likes! And I am someone who is easy to please,someone who needs small things to be happy..and every year,I am so excited before my birthday..before DH’s birthday and this year,ofcourse I am looking forward to Aadya’s birthday.My birthday is the one day of the year,when I feel like a princess!
Birthdays were the only days when we were allowed to pick up the phone,as kids and later,as a teenager,we had this unsaid rule about the birthday girl picking up the phone…:) just some craziness to add to the excitement.That and being able to use-“But its my birthday!” to get out of almost anything!
Naturally,this year I was a little,Oh ok,a lot more excited because of this new beam of sunshine-Li’l Aadya and this being my first birthday as a mom..and I must say,this year DH made sure,it was the best birthday ever.
This year,my birthday started on the 18th of february,with friends calling up from Mumbai..and then my dad and sis called at 12.00 am IST.That itself was enough to get my spirits high.Then,DH came home at lunchtime with a take out from my favorite Thai restaurant.
In the evening,we went to collect the keys to the new apartment and then, went out to a nice quiet dinner.And guess what,Aadya dozed off the moment we put her in the car seat and she slept through the whole dinner.So,for the first time,since her birth I ate a quiet,uninterrupted meal.Though I must say,I missed the excited babbles!
And just like that the perfect day came to an end 🙂
Another happy year spent-Another happy birthday celebrated-inching towards the big Three-OH-just two years short!
December 20th 2007
It’s our 4th wedding anniversary today and if I look back I can say all in all we have had 4 very enjoyable years- with a fair share of ups and downs. While we have had our bickering..almost every day,we made up almost every single time before going to bed.
Last year this time, we were waiting for our baby’s arrival and today celebrating our anniversary with her, just was a special experience. Yesterday I took Aadya to the mall and we picked up some greeting cards and a gift for DH. I am big on cards with “just right” words and luckily for me every year I manage to find just the right greeting. This year I found two such..Before I write those words,I have to tell you this- Since the last few days there have been major fights in our household. For no apparent reason,one of us would blow our top and then keep fuming. So much that we didn’t even feel inclined to make up! And I was in no mood to celebrate the anniversary. Anyway,so we fought on the weekend,then patched up..then again on Monday and I refused to talk. The sweet guy that he is,came home early and took me to the mall. I was being a super B**** and refused to walk with him! he still walked along side by side..Sometime later..I dunno when or how,I found myself reaching for his hand and we came home happy.
sometime later I remembered that I was angry and reminded him half-heartedly and he very sportingly told me he knew I was still upset! Upset! My foot! I don’t even remember now, why we were fighting ..This is what happened last year and neither one of us remembers the reason for that fight too!Are you beginning to see a pattern here?I mean other than the fact that I am the mean one? That we fight..but the important thing is we remember how we made up! And I think that’s what makes him so special..that’s what makes us work! *Knock on the wood*
Here are the words from my “just perfect”card-
We just knew
We decided to take the best
We listened to what our friends
And we vowed,among other things,
And we knew that if we just
And it has.
It has,hasn’t it?
Mom and dad,
And thanks,’cause if it weren’t for you..
And the back cover reads- Am I thoughtful or what?!!